Sunday, 26 June 2016

Genies and bottles

So you thought I would shut up about the E.U. Referendum? What do you think this is? An episode of The Archers? Anyway, I have a job to do - finish off Groucho using nothing but boredom. I see it as a challenge.

Also anyway, H.I. has been thrown into a deep depression about it all, so I am finding it hard to divert myself with brass candlesticks. A friend of hers - no, two friends actually - have called her up because they 'just needed to talk to someone about it', and one of them (the female one) was in tears.

Last night, H.I. persuaded me to sign the petition for a second referendum, even though I said it would be a complete waste of time. Ok, they may be forced to briefly mention it in parliament (especially now it has hit almost 3 million signatures), but can you imagine anyone in government  - or anyone left in government - saying, "Sorry! Made a bit of a mistake! We didn't mean it!"?

Dee Em - over on a previous post - said that he/she could not see any difference in his/her day-to-day life since the referendum, so what was I ranting on about?

Well aside from being a little on the impatient side (it was only 2 days past, after all) I am wondering if she (I think it's a she) has gone back into the cupboard she crept out of to lose her sense of humour with me.

Has she not noticed how both the Labour and Conservative parties are tearing themselves to shreds at the expense of the country? Corbin has sacked Hillary Benn for mounting a vote of no confidence in him, so most of the rest of the shadow cabinet will resign on Monday as a result, leaving no opposition to Cameron or his successor at all, not that they need any.

Cameron has paved the way for the far-right of the Nasty Party to team up with UKIP by simply washing his hands of the whole business - the very morning of the vote count.

Scotland will definitely win the next referendum to break away from the United Kingdom, thereby destroying the Union for ever, also simultaneously destroying Britain's nuclear defence capability - whether or not you want it.

With a little help from a handful of other E.U. countries, the E.U. will disintegrate very shortly and bring about yet another world financial crisis before we have even begun to get over the last one, and Russia could well feel confident enough to move back into Poland and the Eastern Block, with nothing but NATO to limply protest about it.

And three days after our referendum vote has been counted, Dee Em can see no change to her day to day life? Seriously? Maybe she will notice when the price of vegetables goes up in Waitrose, not that they need any excuse to raise them.

Saturday, 25 June 2016

How do you feel?

Day two of our new, exclusive diet of baked beans straight from the can, and I can honestly say that I cannot notice any appreciable difference as I look out of the window. The sun still shines as much as it ever does during a British Summer, and I am still getting cold-calls from Indians who think I have something worth stealing.

Yes, it is only day two, but already the triumphant (marginal) voters of 'LEAVE' are telling the (marginal) losing voters of 'REMAIN' to stop moaning and generally shut up about it. That's what I call ungracious, and I would have thought that they would at least allow us a week of bitching before getting bored with it. It's day two, for Christ's sake.

In the pub last night, a group of elderly voters got together to talk about it - not for long, but not to even mention it would have been an elephant in the room so large, that there would not have been enough room left for ordinary customers. It was, after all, only day one.

"How do you feel?" one women voter asked me, and I had to say that I felt strangely depressed - not suicidal, just a bit cold and lonely.

"How do you feel?" I asked one elderly, male, self-confessed UKIP voter. Strangely - especially to him - he admitted to feeling uneasy and uncomfortable about the outcome which he had helped to bring about - something verging on a feeling of guilt.

After a while, we all began to notice that no matter which way we had voted, the outcome of the referendum affected us all in the same way, and had left us with a nagging feeling of uneasiness, as if we really had wantonly broken that toy and thrown it out of the pram.

Someone else observed that even those of us who had remained undecided until the last moment, were experiencing the exact same feelings, and this was a phenomena which none of us had ever witnessed before.

I had an email from my Hamburg friend yesterday, and he told me that all Germans felt like the bride who had been left, jilted, at the altar. They are even talking about the exit arrangements in terms of 'divorce proceedings', so it could be a bad case of polygamy.

Now why should this be? If it were just a case of walking away from global financiers or career bureaucrats, then we would not feel so sheepish.

Maybe the notion of a European family of ordinary people coming together for the common good had a tiny little bit of truth to it, even if it was only in our imagination?

You see - prior to yesterday, I would not have dreamt that these words would come out of my mouth.

Friday, 24 June 2016

I have a dream...

I now have a purpose, intimated to me by God in a dream this afternoon.

Wessex extends from Winchester to the borders of Kerno, and I and my kin shall rule it forever more.

There are no obstacles in my way now that the intermediary Icinii tribes have been routed by the Roman legions, and it should not take more than about 50 years to rebuild the wall that Hadrian built against the Northern savages, who will - in turn - be granted a recount by the Gallic war-councils who we have already made peace with.




Sorry to shout.

Unscrambling eggs

This title was inspired by John's reaction on his latest post.

On Monday, the leaders of the remaining 27 countries are going to get together in a locked room to decide the best way of punishing Britain without harming themselves any more than we did last night.

I did not think that I would be so depressed about this outcome, should it happen, but I had an image just now which makes more sense of it all than anything else right now.

The general atmosphere in Britain this morning now reminds me of a child who kills another living  creature for no better reason than to see what it feels like, then is filled with remorse for his deed which cannot be undone.

£200 billion gone overnight

Here we go - I don't know where, but we're off.

You know the worst thing about Britain's exit from the European Union is not so much the financial impact (which has already begun to happen in a big way), it is the mandate given to the far-right nationalists - not only here in Britain, but all over Europe, if not the entire world.

One good reason why Germany and the other strong three will not make things easy for the U.K. now that it has decided to leave, is the worry that if they do, then many of the remaining 27 will be queuing up to get the same trade deals and concessions, causing the total collapse of the E.U. We are definitely in for a very rough ride indeed.

David Cameron has resigned, leaving the job open to hard nationalists like Boris Johnson and Gove. Can you imagine?!

Already, a Polish ambassador has been on British radio, trying to calm down all the Poles who currently work here, and he will not be the last - we have many other nationalities doing good work in this country.

The Governor of the Bank of England has been trying to calm the markets down as well at 8.30 this morning. They have contingency plans in place apparently, and these include more 'fiscal easing' or bail-outs, but I bet they don't include the protection of private pensions.

I was just thinking about what Europe would feel like if it reverted back to individual countries with tight borders. Safer? I don't think so.

I have to go to the Post Office to pick up a parcel today. I think I will cash in our Euros at the same time. You can get 1.25 to the pound today - 25% more than yesterday.

Or should I wait? It could get worse.

P.S. Boris Johnson is one quarter Turkish.

Thursday, 23 June 2016


A little over 53% for REMAIN.

Tall poppy

I'm not normally one for sticking my head over the parapet. Try Googling me and if you are scrupulous, you will find one - and one only - mention of me on someone else's web pages.

You can find me on the electoral roll, but only because I would not be able to have a bank account if I had not registered.

And today, for the first time in my reasonably (and comparatively) long life, I am about to make use of my registration by voting in the E.U. referendum. On the rare occasions that I have foolishly admitted to having never voted in my life, some left-wing trade unionist has had to be cut short in the middle of a accusatory tirade in which he attempts to give me a history lesson on the blood which has been spilt by our grandfathers and great-grandfathers who fought hard to get me the vote. I usually just tell them to fuck off and mind their own capitalist business to shut them up.

This vote will be a first for H.I. as well, and I would imagine that she must have got it in the neck from the grand-daughters of the Suffragettes when admitting it. Although she is far too polite to tell her sisters to 'fuck off', she is not so demure that she does not call most politicians 'cunts' on a regular basis, and that must be enough to shut most Suffragettes up, just from sheer shock. I'm with her in that opinion, and this is the main reason that neither of us have ever voted before. This may be about to change, though.

When the dust has settled and the cabinet re-shuffles have left heads rolling in the corridors of Whitehall, it will be interesting to see what effect - if any - the death of Jo Cox has had on the entire system in general, and our attitudes toward politicians in particular.

Michael Eavis went on the media recently to ask the festival goers to please NOT arrive early at Pilton, because the water-logged car-parks there would cause horrific problems if they did.

So what did everyone do? You guessed it - they all arrived early and they all arrived at the same time. Roads around Shepton Mallet have been closed by the police because of the 15 mile tailbacks, and some people have been sleeping in their cars for 12 hours. The average wait to get on site from 400 yards away is 4 hours.

When I mentioned this to H.I. she said, "Michael Eavis is a cunt."

I asked her how she had come to think so highly of him - what reason she had to call him that, when I had never seen anything but honourable and polite behaviour toward others from him (they don't call it Worthy Farm for nothing) and she said, "Oh isn't he? I just thought he was."