Part of my problem is that I am not as scared of technology as I should be.
I have not mentioned the outcome of my car's electrical problems because I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! ALRIGHT?!
I didn't want to talk about it because, £250 later, it turned out to be a defective battery. Before any of you begin to gloat and tell me that you suggested as much right from the beginning, I can tell you that both the original break-down mechanic and the garage which I eventually took it to tested the battery and told me that there was nothing wrong with it. I deliberately did not mention my suspicions about a faulty alarm (which the car itself told me about) so I cannot be blamed for them taking their eye off the ball. It now starts first time, I consider the matter to be closed and I will not enter into any further correspondence regarding it. Speak to my superiors.
Next on the agenda is my epic battle to get my new iPhone connected to the network. You already know part of this story, but to recap I bought the phone (second hand and reconditioned) and asked the shop to transfer all my stuff from the old one to the new. They said they would not do this so I had to do it using iCloud (you can skip this bit, Weave - actually, you may want to skip the lot, like everyone else does).
I took it home and the data swap went like a dream. It was easy... too easy.
I took the SIM (Subscriber Identity Module - I bet you didn't know that...) card out of the old phone and opened up the new one to insert it. Even though it is described as a 'micro' it was too big. I needed a 'nano'.
So I requested a new SIM from my ISP (Internet Service Provider - I bet you DID know that) and it arrived in a couple of days.
I followed all the instructions written on the envelope which came with the tiny little card and - hey presto - found that I had locked myself out of my account because I had inadvertently created a new one.
I had to use the new user-name created by them to get onto the forum to scream for help to get me back into my account. I just want to go home... I sobbed.
About a week later - with the help of a couple of my ISP's engineers and the parting with my innermost personal details, I am back in the world of Facebook, Whatsapp, Snapchat, Instagram and all the other intrusive institutions that I never use.
BUT I can make calls again.