Years ago I had a girlfriend called Alexia Tucker who instructed me in the ancient oriental martial art of Sushi Flower Arranging.
The rules are simple. You have to stuff the largest bunch of cut flowers you can find into a regulation-size vase full of water in the fastest time possible. No points are awarded for tasteful displays.
I miss Alexia.
Is this a euphemism?
ReplyDeleteNo.
DeleteWhen you violently stuff a large bunch of flowers into a narrow-necked vase full of water, the sound produced is 'SUSHI!' The louder the sound, the higher the score. Simples.
DeleteI won't take it any further then, I might get on to very thin ice.
DeleteOh, I see.
DeleteI've the vase, just need a bunch of flowers.
ReplyDeleteTry the churchyard.
DeleteI have two or three vases that would qualify. I've always called them "one weed" vases.
ReplyDeleteHave be one giant hogweed.
DeleteThat's what I sound like when I'm drinking. I miss Alexia as well.
ReplyDeleteI drink so fast that I always know which hemisphere I am in by the direction the vortex of beer swirls as it goes down my throat.
DeleteSounds my sort of flower arranging that.
ReplyDeleteYou would be good at it Weave.
DeleteHow did this competitive flower arranging start ? Do you do it at the same time as your competitor and who judges ? XXXX
ReplyDeleteI have never taken part in a bout, or a 'Splasho' as it is known in Japan.
Delete