I SHALL go to the ball

I will try and make this the last negatively-slanted post of 2017, but I can't promise anything.

Apple have admitted that they program their iPhones to run much slower the older they get. They say that this is to preserve the life of the batteries - nothing to do with finding ways to get reluctant people to buy new models, of course.

Parcel Force left a note through my door saying that they had tried to deliver a parcel to me at about 8.30 am. I must be getting deaf, because I did not hear the deafeningly loud buzzer on our entry phone, and I had been listening out for it since 8.00. We may or may not get the parcel after Christmas. I tried calling their premium rate phone line to arrange redelivery, but - guess what? - all of their operatives were currently busy and I was held in a queue. A very long queue.

I checked my bank account to make sure that my client's accountant had paid my last invoice as promised, but it was not there so I emailed her. She emailed back saying 'terribly sorry, but I made a mistake and it will not go in until the 28th'.

I emailed back with a plaintive rant in which I said that it was very undignified for a man of my age to keep having to hassle for small amounts of money.

Eventually she called me up and said that the Estate Manager - my client's right-hand man - had rummaged through a desk and found half the amount in petty cash, which I could drive up and collect if not doing so would mean cancelling Christmas. I declined the offer, having belittled myself enough for one year.

Now a more positive way to end the post, if not the year.

I received all but £68 from my crashed car claim, and I assumed that this money was to cover the scratching that someone else inflicted on my courtesy car. This morning, the company sent me an email explaining that this was the scrap value of the Volvo and would be sent to me after they have actually scrapped it.

They paid me the bulk by walking to a branch of my bank in Basildon, Essex, and putting a paper cheque into my account. The cheque will not clear until after Christmas, but I still feel lucky, if a little poor.

My glass is 1/8th full.