If you go down to the beach today

I carved this starfish as a sample for some decoration on a stone fire-surround for a man who lived by the sea in Poole, Dorset. When he came to see it he told me that his wife hated starfish. How can you hate starfish? Maybe because they look like wandering hands.

The church with the spire that the Peregrine falcons love so much once had a famous bit of graffiti scrawled in chalk in a very neurotic, crabby hand. It became famous by being included in a nation-wide compilation of memorable graffiti that became a minor best-seller. It said, 'I hate seaweed.'

I had a friend who was so scared of crabs that if he was leafing through a magazine and chanced upon a photo of one, he would recoil in horror and throw the magazine away. The strange thing is that he really liked eating them.

I had a Japanese friend whose first job before she left school was in a restaurant. If there was a large banquet set out on a table for guests who were yet to arrive, her job was to keep an eye on the plates and put back anything which crawled off them in a last-ditch attempt to make it back to the sea.