Thursday 30 June 2016

Look upon my works, ye mighty...


I do some strange things to make money. Right now, I am making a new building look as though it was built 200 years ago and sourcing a rock which looks as though it was made 150 million years ago, but - in fact - is so young that you quite often find discarded modern drinks cans deep in the middle of it.

Also on the agenda is some replacement carving to the most intricate and delicately carved bit of marble that I have ever come across outside of ancient Rome, but when it is finished (I have been working on it for over a year) it will be hidden under a much plainer piece and will only be visible if you get on your knees in the virtual dark - something the owner may do just the once.

I sometimes dream of being a set carpenter for films such as the Harry Potters, where the sort of things which take me about a year to complete are knocked up with polystyrene and plaster in about two days, but that would mean working too hard - or at least too fast.

The final scene in the last Potter movie was the total destruction (by fire and explosion) of their most complicated set, as a Harry Potter look-alike stuntman ran through the mayhem trying not to get blown up, set fire to or crushed by falling scenery.

Standing around, out of shot, are the set carpenters (and a load of uniformed fire-fighters) watching their work go up in smoke. They seem remarkably sanguine about it, and the oldest had a retirement party immediately afterwards. This was his last set, ever - now imortalised in the film, if not set in stone. I didn't know whether to feel sorry for him or be envious.

13 comments:

  1. I really admire your work Tom ..... So skilled.
    Our niece is a sculptor and, for a bit of money, worked on the film Fred Claus .... She had to ' sculpt ' all of the 'snow ' for the roofs etc !!!! XXXX

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    1. The village of Lacock is regularly covered in Summer snow for films too. I once carved the real thing.

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  2. Yes, your work must require many skills and much knowledge. I think I can identify granite and limestone, but other than that I haven't a clue. Have you every found the family treasure during demolition or rooting around? That would be exciting.

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    1. I once found some little gaming-pieces in a hit-hole of a 17th century fireplace which was part destroyed in the English Civil War - dice, dominoes, etc. That period of time was when black and white magic ran concurrently with Christianity, as it still does in Cuba.

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    2. HIDEY-HOLE, not 'hit-hole'. That's it - I'm turning off this idiot spell-checker.

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  3. Reading your blog has taught me to look at marble and stone with more respect.
    Greetings Maria x

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    1. You look at it with even more respect when a lump falls on your foot.

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  4. I know that you can't reveal your client, but can you tell me more about this piece of marble that you are carving? I am so confused why it will be hidden, why you have to struggle to even see it in the end and, considering how much work goes into it, the owner would just look at it once? What is it a part of? The only thing that I could think of is a fireplace, but what is it?

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    1. It is an elaborate door-canopy, converted into a low bench, hence having to crouch to view it.

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  5. Sorry about the late replies - I was side-tracked by Gove.

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  6. Is the new building you're beating up for the same client so it has to blend with its ancient surroundings? What will you do to it?

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    1. New bits of it have to blend in with the old bits. It involves thin washes of paint.

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