Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Saturday, 4 July 2015
The sinister side of Jane Austen
It is only July 4th, and I am already thinking about Christmas - you have to begin early when making videos and I may have left it too late already. I am starting to get ideas for another 3D video-mapping event for the pub, hence the above image. See yesterday's post if you don't know what I am talking about, or don't bother if you don't care.
Every year, I try and break the previous year's record by being the first person to mention Christmas on a blog post, and this year I have created a record which will be hard to break in the future. Mentioning it on January 2nd doesn't count. We are not even anywhere near the 'season of mists and mellow fruitfulness' yet, and by its mere mention, I have broken two records in one post.
Think chintz. Think robins on logs. Think snow and lots of it. Think fictitious Victorian childhood. Well that's what I am thinking anyway, in this 80 degree heat.
There is a shop right next to the Abbey here called 'December the 25th', and - yes, you guessed it - it sells nothing but all the crap everyone seems to go in for at Christmas. The music played in it is nothing but carols, Bing Crosby and all that sort of very seasonal thing.
When it first opened about 6 or 7 years ago, I gave it until just after the real December 25th to fold up and go bust, but - unbelievably - it is still going strong. I don't recall seeing anyone go in or out of it at any time I have walked past it, and it is now such a fixture in the street that I don't even notice it when I do walk past.
Maybe it imports guns from the Czech Republic, or cocaine from Columbia, and is just a front for some much more lucrative business - a business which sells stuff which people actually want all year round?
Maybe it is just the perfect corporate example of how - if you want to be unobtrusive - you dress as outlandishly and embarrassingly as possible so that people avert their eyes in shame as they walk past?
The Jane Austen festival is coming up in a few weeks. Last year, the 'Janeites' broke all previous records for the most people dressed in period Jane Austen costume to assemble in one place at one time, as about 550 of them promenaded through Bath, studiously ignored by the locals.
Maybe the J.A. Festival is the AGM for all the mules and smugglers associated with the December 25th shop? A sort of Christmas party for criminals?