Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Tuesday, 13 August 2013
...but I know what I like
I have finally given in and accepted H.I.'s offer to put the finishing touches to those cherubs that I have been working on for weeks, and today I am taking her out to the workshop and locking her in until it's done.
The trouble with me is that I can do many things to an acceptable degree - a quite large amount of things - but in spreading my abilities so thinly, I could never be described as a master of any of them - I am the classic jack-of-all-trades, maybe specialising in bullshit.
I think I made two paintings during the Foundation course at art school (in 1968), and master-pieces they were definitely not. Prior to that - during school time - I was constantly drawing, and found it almost effortless. Then I stopped doing that as well. H.I. on the other hand, has not stopped painting and drawing since she was old enough to understand what a pencil was for.
It has taken me years to understand that you do not need to be an expert on everything that work as diverse as mine involves - even if that were possible - just so long as you have enough vision to know what it should end up looking like. Delegating glory-jobs to others is no disgrace, especially when you delegate them to a real expert.
The amount of paint that needs to be applied to these cherubs is about the size of a pea - literally. It could be applied as one single smear from the thumb, and that smear would be no longer than about three inches, and - if put on in this way - would take no longer than two seconds to apply.
As it is though, it will take H.I. at least a day to put on, employing high levels of concentration focussed by about 60 years of experience. I am lucky to have her at hand to save me yet more weeks of struggle before I can deliver the bloody things and get paid. I have already spent weeks putting on about 99.9% of it, and now a few light but essential touches need to be made to bring them to real, 3-dimensional life.
For anyone who has not seen it, here is H.I.'s website (designed and created by me in yet another display of dilettantism, illustrating my point perfectly - it's ok, but that's about it), which gives you an idea about her level of expertise. I really must get around to updating it.