I have recently been accused of 'flirting' with my readership via the comments box of this blog, but I cannot mention names (John Gray of Trelawnyd, Wales).
Once I had stopped smarting from the stinging criticism (which had a strong hint of ageism about it), I suddenly remembered that I have always enjoyed flirting, even when I was young, and even when the flirtee was much older than I was then.
The great thing about flirting is that although it always acknowledges the difference between the sexes, it is completely innocent and non-carnal, and knows no age-barriers.
Very small girls instinctively flirt with very old men, and many young men make the day of quite elderly women by flirting with them.
Even if flirting is used as a means of getting one person to agree to some small favour or request from the other, the 'other' is always aware of the subterfuge, and will be more likely to be willingly charmed into submission. It is a bit like a deal, but not a big one.
Mo Mowlam - when she was a minister for Northern Ireland and talks with opposing parties became possible - was accused of flirting with certain members of the IRA, and there was a taped telephone conversation which was brought into the public arena, in which she refers to one as "Babe". This cost her her job, but I think she should have been commended for her guile when dealing with dangerous mobsters.
The great thing about flirting is that it is mutually disarming, and beginning a conversation or relationship - no matter how short-lived or shallow - with some minor act of flirtation is effectively saying, "This is where we start from, and no matter where we go, we mean no harm to each other."
I must do more flirting in the future. It is my favourite form of (almost) non-verbal communication.
You ole flirt. Funnily I was just writing about much the same subject, concerning my college days, and canvas stretching. Watch my space.
ReplyDeleteI remember you leching in your old college days, but the flirting passed my notice...
DeleteI cannot but wonder if those who complain about flirting are actually jealous. I am well known for flirting regardless of a woman's age for I do know that it is appreciated and more importantly my good lady although not encouraging me certainly does not object for we have a secure relationship.
ReplyDeleteI must admit that the accusations from he who must not be named (but has been) always seem to come flying when my comments hit-rate begins to nudge worryingly close to his own. I could never aspire to any more than about 35, though, and they are usually only as a result of a conversation between two other bloggers, so he need not worry too much.
DeleteAs far as the other jealousy goes, then yes - I have got into petty trouble when it has been witnessed by an insecure other half (not mine).
DeleteI enjoy being flirted with ( though I cannot remember the last time that this occurred)
ReplyDeleteHowever...
( and there is a big however)
Sometimes flirting( when it is carried out by an ageing lothario)
Can look a bit........well.........errrrrrmmmmmm
How can I put it..........?
SEEDY
Tally ho
You just didn't read and/or understand this post, did you?
DeleteI speak and read English perfectly well Thomas
DeleteI am sure you do. It's the usage and interpretation of it which seems to let you down.
DeleteI've always been a flirt and will remain just that. I feel no guilt about it because I don't do it to "get" something: I can't flirt with persons I do not like, and I hate/despise people using sex to get something else. And I am no husband-snatcher. A flirt is a playful air-kiss, might come to something or might not. A lot of people who fear sex or are no longer interested in it are condemning flirtation, their mind quickly sees more than there might be.
ReplyDeleteYes, you have to be careful who you flirt with, and for what reasons. Other than that, no harm done, eh?
DeleteCan you send some of those young men who flirt with older women my way please Tom - there's none of that up here in North Yorkshire (sad to say)
ReplyDeleteGo into Bradford on a Saturday night, and ask if there are any OAP deals for kebabs. That should do the trick - it does for me!
DeleteI've never been a flirt. It is something that has to come to you naturally, and you either have it or you don't. If I was to wink at a man in jest, he would just say: "Have you got something in your eye?"
ReplyDeleteIf I see a young woman deeply scratching her arse in public, I ask the same question, Iris. That's not flirting though.
DeleteI do not know how to flirt....but in the days when I had a certain influence in certain quarters I was subjected to flirting.
ReplyDeleteGiven my own appreciation of my looks, contacts and competence I took it for the shit it was.
That's a sad little story. I am sure it was all as genuine as any other.
DeleteI had quite a lovely flirtation recently that resonates here. I like that you mentioned the 'no damage' clause. So true. So much fun.
ReplyDeleteSometimes though, as a single female, you can get lynched after closing time.
Getting lynched after closing time doesn't constitute flirtation in my world, Sarah.
Delete