Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Eek a Ted!


A note of explanation about last night's rather cryptic post with the EEK A MOUSE record on it:

No, I wasn't drunk, despite what isolated and lonely animal-fetishists in remote and desolate parts of Wales may have suggested.  I had been perusing my blog stats (this new edit section makes them so much clearer and easy to find), and I noticed some rather interesting features.

For a start, of the almost 100,000 page views I have clocked up in the last 940 posts (blimey, I have wasted a lot of time - mine and others) my most avid reader seems to be a chap called John Gray, who hails from a remote and desolate part of North Wales.  He took over first place ever since I mentioned that he was in second, only a couple of weeks ago.  I am presuming that the previous record-holder did not know how they could be monitored in this way, and ran off as a result of finding out.

When I look at the world map of my blog readership, two parts are coloured a dark blue - the UK, and the USA.  No surprises there, really.  Other areas are a somewhat paler blue - Australia (thanks Sarah) and Ireland (thanks, Mise), and there are some individual nutters with smart-phones hanging around in places like the jungles of Borneo, etc., as well as a few rather bemused readers in Japan and China.

There is one IT company who avidly follows everyone's blog in the world, to see how they can make money out of it, but - as yet - they haven't approached me with an offer I can't refuse.

I have two blogs on my dashboard, one of them a serialisation of a book I wrote a few years ago which nobody showed any interest in, so I took it down.  The hit-rate for both blogs is simply represented by a linear graph in one section.  This blog has it's peaks and troughs, and it peaks at certain times of the day and night, depending on whose looking and from where.

The other blog is flat-lining, so I think that they haven't turned the machine off, even though it is obviously brain-dead.

The most interesting thing to arise - for me - was the random hits I have received from strangers around the world just searching key words.

The key words which have attracted the most searches to my blog are, in order of highest frequency:  Teddy Boys,  EEK A MOUSE and Coco de Mer.

'Coco de Mer' can be explained away quite easily because it has sexual connotations, and - I believe - there are some people who use the internet almost exclusively for gratification in this area. I only once mentioned this strange fruit in all the 940 posts, but it still has the power to attract, it seems.

I am a bit confused as to why everyone should be so interested in Teddy Boys when I, also, have only mentioned them once.  There must be a load of 70 year-old Teds out there, trying to relive their pasts.

EEK A MOUSE fans must occasionally become attracted to my blog, but at least they are rewarded with a little light music for their efforts - even though they could have found the same track on You Tube, like I did.  Maybe they are starved of Reggae, wherever they live, and couldn't remember his name until I reminded them.

Funny old world.


19 comments:

  1. It's nice to be first at SOMETHING!
    makes a change! I was always picked last for games as a boy , so I am thrilled with the accolade!
    Tom your blog has amused, infuriated, entertained, occasionally bored,stimulated and stimulated me during my lonely, animal hoarding existence here in darkest Wales...It wouldn't be a normal day without a peruse ( or 10) of your well written, eclectic, schizophrenic view of life...

    may there be many more years of it!

    chin chin

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  2. I have been VERY stimulated!

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    1. I blame Boris. Anyway, I'll let you know if you slip down in the ratings. I'd comment on yours more, but I don't think you'd have time to read it. I hope your day isn't quite normal when you DO read this, but thanks (sniffle).

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    2. I dont think you'd comment more tom...

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    3. What else can anyone possibly say about the removal of dog-snot from one's furniture before the arrival of guests?

      I am really lost for words.

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    4. I ought to add that I am lost for words because I am astounded that anyone would actually want to stay in your snot-besmirched menagerie...

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  3. Easy John! Careful you don't over-stimulate yourself into a foam.

    So who was the other mentalist stalking you Tom?

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    1. You're pretty high on the list, Chris - just shows what a sad life we all lead.

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  4. Wales-Shmales! Is there any consolation price for followers who rank further down the list?

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    1. Yes Iris, but you have to pick it up in person. It's not very heavy.

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  5. Interesting looking at the "stats" header on my blog too. You've investigated it a bit more than I have but have to giggle at you and John. Phew...that John. Between the two of you, I probably read the most clever rhetoric written!

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    1. What do you mean 'the both of us'? John writes the rhetoric and I comment on it.

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  6. Not very heavy? It's a diamond ring, isn't it?

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  7. This prompted me to look at my stats. My number one post, viewed over 113,977 times is a post on my daughter dressed as a bath loofah!

    How can you tell that it was John and not another blogger on his site clicking on the Blog List on his sidebar?

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    1. Because their is route traffic from other's sites shown, and there is the URL of the site itself who has looked. It's quite specific on the new editor.

      I must have missed your daughter as a loofer, Raz! Ifear the worst motives of those 113,977 people though.

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  8. All that was driven by Pinterest. The photo was pinned and went viral. All onto Pin boards titled crafts, Halloween etc, so I wasn;t worried too much.

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    1. Oh, I see Raz. There are details to these mechanics which are yet to be understood by me - thanks.

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  9. I love the Ted photo. What a magnificent creature.
    Some of the search terms that find our blogs are hilarious, yes? Some are very, very strange. I think "Fisherwoman plastic pants" was the worst, for me.

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    1. You should be here in about 27 hours, then I can ask you about your plastic pants in person.

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