Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Giant Pandas - who gives a f***?
As the Arctic winter hits Scotland for a second time this year, Edinburgh Zoo awaits a coupling between Chan Chan and some other bloody Panda bear - the only viable chance in the 36 hour window in the Giant Panda's fertility period in it's yearly cycle.
WHY? One would have thought that Panda's knew their own business best, and if anyone could be a successful match-maker between the two bears, several billion Chinese could not go wrong, but no.
For an animal that shows such a lamentable lack of carnal knowledge and experience, the Giant Panda has been doing pretty well on it's own for the last couple of hundred thousand years without the help of us humans, but that has not stopped us from crating up the poor bastards and flying them all over the world - along with several tons of bamboo a month for their breakfasts - just to put them in a darkened room with a bit of romantic candlelight and Barry White on the HI-FI. So far, Chan Chan and his cohort have failed to get it on.
There are PLENTY of other animals - in this country and elsewhere - that would greatly benefit from the millions that are spent on Pandas who cannot get it together, so why spend it?
Money of course. The WWF has used the Pandas as it's logo since inception/conception, and zoos all over the world make a heck of a lot of money from allowing the public to gawp at them.
They make even more money from people gawping at a baby one, hence the excuse of 'conservation'.