I am thinking of making a compilation of the snippets of conversation I hear in passing in the street, or sitting in the car with the windows open. The trouble is I don't write them down before I forget them, but some stick in the mind for a while.
Young son to his father last week: 'The only thing we can do now is set fire to the pig'. You can see why I remembered that one.
Today I am pretending to be retired and going for lunch at a large country house hotel/restaurant/spa. I am not a spa person but I quite like 17th century country houses (see previous posts) and lunch. Following that I am taking my old car to a man who is driving it away and carrying out an MOT test on it.
It occurred to me recently that when I bought the latest Volvo, all the adverts selling that model described it as 'new shape'. That was only a few years ago, but nobody could ever describe any second hand car that way any more.
Today's new Volvos (and almost all new cars) are almost unrecognisable without looking at the name badges on the body or wheels. There are so many different versions of the same models that you realise that the manufacture of cars has been revolutionised in the last five or so years.
Someone who works for Range Rover said recently that you will not see two identical versions on the road. They all differ in small or large ways according to the customer's requirements at the time of order. As the chassis travels down the conveyor belt, the human fitters read the job sheet from a screen and reach behind them (I assume) to make the modifications by selecting different parts or colours to apply to the modified bodywork which has been welded together by pre-programmed robots - very quickly. To assemble a customised car from start to finish takes about two hours. Maybe quicker.
When I bought my old car a few years ago, some people would remark that it looked quite classy. Now they ask me how on earth it gets through the MOT test.
Perhaps that's why it is always my car that the gulls shit on when it is parked amongst a row of others in town.
They don't even look like cars anymore, they look like trucks or dinosaurs or wagons, I am not sure what the correct description for them is. Garages built for cars can no longer take them so they all stand outside and modern housebuilders have not adjusted to this and still build garages for standard sized cars of the old days.
ReplyDeleteYes, multi story car parks are becoming too small. One of the cars that is still recognisable is the (German owned) Mini. The modern one now weighs over 1.50 tons.
DeleteDoes anyone actually use their garage for the car? Ours is always full like most sheds.
ReplyDeleteThere are very few garages in Bath, and the few that exist cost about the same as a small house up North, either to buy or rent.
DeleteReminds me of the pigeons who always wait til my window cleaner drives out of the drive to swoop in and leave their equivalent of rude words on my clean windows
ReplyDeleteIt can seem personal, can't it Weave?
DeleteI could not name one car today, they all rounded and smooth, and in the colour of the year. I remember my grandfather always had Rovers, and then the 'new model' came out and feeling slightly sad that the old bee-shape became squarish.
ReplyDeleteElegance and power are no longer combined. It's ostentatious power only now. Even Rolls Royce and Bentley look like they were designed by science fiction illustrators. At least Aston Martin has some elegance still.
DeleteThe wind tunnel has a lot to answer for!
ReplyDeletePlus 11 manufacturers getting together in one big group... Stellantis I think it is called. No wonder they are all samey!!
I have never heard of Stellantis. That would explain a lot.
DeleteSome cars are bird magnets. My neighbor has 2 black Volvos. He parks them to the side of his property in the flight path of the wild turkeys...you would not believe the white messy blobs on black Volvos.
ReplyDeleteParking under a tree with a roosting pigeon is also a bad mistake.
DeleteI adore that vintage Volvo. A buddy of mine had one back in the 90s and it was fun to passenger in.
ReplyDeleteApropos listening in on folks' conversations, I recall hearing one person tell another while walking down Haight St. in SF, 'I don't think I'm addicted to heroin!' That was about 30 years' back and I've never forgotten it.
I had that very model about 40 years ago - a 1960s 122 S. A wonderful car.
DeleteYour overheard comment in Haight Street reminds me of what I used to say to people about cocaine - the same thing old ladies used to say about tobacco: I don't like it, I just like the smell of it.
I will reply to everyone else tomorrow, but I couldn't resist this one tonight.
You only think the gulls select your car over all others. That is a empirical statement that needs corresponding proof. You can count defecation marks on a row of cars.
ReplyDeleteMy sister and I spent the day demonstrating spinning in the grease. We had a freshly sheared fleece and spent the day hand carding and spinning the wool. Our skirts collected so much debris we carded out. At the end of the day we stood up to empty the vegetation trash carded out. A young woman cried out "Wait, I'll take it!" Whatever for, we asked. "I'll take it home and plant it to grow my own sheep!"
I have posted a picture showing my car a couple of weeks ago. I did not need to count the spots. It was covered and the other cars were spotless. Was that woman serious???
DeleteCompletely!
DeleteMy car is a magnet for feral cats. The good news is that they do not defecate on the car. They just leave muddy footprints all over it. I have no one to blame but myself. Every one of them gets fed and a kind of word. I doubt that I'd be so gracious with the seagulls.
ReplyDeleteI love having the occasion cat paw mark on my car. I do not wash them off.
DeleteWas a time when I could name any car before computer design came along. now the desirable parameters are fed into computers and they, naturally, all come up with the same shapes.All look like sucked boil sweets with all individuality smoothed away.
ReplyDeleteThey pay more attention to horse power these days. Even vans drive like sports cars now and every car - no matter how small - is capable of about 140 MPH.
DeleteI love the old Volvo .... cars used to have so much character . Our Dad had an old Standard 8 as his first car. It had leather seats , walnut dashboard and a blind in the back window ! He then had a Sunbeam Talbot and then a convertible Hillman Minx amongst others. I can remember cleaning them and having to use chrome polish on the bumpers ! XXXX
ReplyDeleteI don't miss chrome bumpers, but most cars don't have bumpers any more. They are big shells of thin plastic which shatter on impact and cost £100s to replace. I had one of those Volvos above. It was good looking and also very powerful for an 1800cc. It won rallies all the time.
DeleteI LOVE old and older cars, and think most of them have "a face". Individual types. Nowadays they often are ugly (and that means high priced ones too) - not all, but I can count the lovely ones on one hand (or two).
ReplyDeleteThe VW Beetle still has a face, although it has put on a lot of weight.
DeletePS: I take photos of all the beautiful old cars I see in our towns and cities - just because I find them remarkable. Last one was a cream white Borgward Coupé with red leather seats.
ReplyDeleteIn the 1970s, Paris was full of beautiful old cars, parked on the pavements and generally ignored.
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