Snow next week

I was once immune (as far as that is possible) to the massive, annual, all-encompassing, week-long road-block of Christmas, but ever since the arrival of the first grandchildren there is no escaping it. I try to enjoy it.

Do the cons outweigh the pros? No matter when a job began or at what stage it is at by December 23rd, everyone wants it done and dusted so they can fully concentrate on the three-day protracted argument with unwelcome guests and relatives to the background soundtrack of Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Wham! and screaming children. Is it just us Brits?

This year there is the looming milestone of the Portland Stone Fireplace for H.I.'s daughter. It has been made even more ominous by being 9 years late in the making. I have been told that if it is not up against the wall and covered in cards in time for the big event, I will not be allowed over the threshold - possibly ever again.

Today is going to be fun. Remember when that lying bastard smashed into my car in the Summer and told the insurance company that it was me who smashed into him? Well in doing so he removed a side indicator light on the old car using disproportionate force and I decided to buy a new pair on eBay the other day. 

They arrived the day before yesterday and are completely unusable, despite assurances that they would fit any Volvo V70. I am in the process of returning them, hopefully not all the way back to China.

So today I will drive to the scene of the crime, park badly and put my hazard lights on, don a Hi-Viz jacket and wander around in the fast-moving traffic to see if I can find the original in amongst all the crisp packets, cigarette boxes, Lucozade bottles and whatever else has been thrown out of car windows in the intervening months.

Am I mad?