Saturday 27 February 2021

The things we leave behind


You would think it to be an ordinary Saturday if you looked out of my window today. Everyone is wandering about town as if they have somewhere to go. The queues for coffee are as long as ever.

The bass bell of the abbey is solemnly tolling and I wonder for whom. It could be anyone or any number of people these days. I have just heard of Jill's death, so I am setting aside some chimes just for her.

I wonder if it is a good thing - emotionally speaking - that the numbers of mourners at funerals are strictly limited. It is hard not to speculate on how many people would attend one's own funeral during melancholy moments, but it is sobering to remember that they simply tossed Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart into a pit with a bit of quick lime, and he left quite a lot to be remembered by.

I know I have mentioned this before, but do you remember the wealthy Roman in The Satyricon who threw his own lavish funeral party before his death so he could hear the drunken and effusive tributes that his guests would deliver in return for the feast? That has to be one of the most spectacular cases of FOMO in history. 

The inscription on a prone and crumbling, giant effigy of Darius the Great lying in a once lush and fertile desert: 'Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair'. 

What would you like to be remembered for and what would you rather people forget? I am asking for one-line epitaphs which bear some resemblance to reality. Self-effacing humour is allowed.

38 comments:

  1. A few hours ago I was thinking about whether to start reducing the books at home and tidying up the papers or leaving it to my kids to deal with it when the day comes.

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    1. Yes, I have been thinking like that recently too.

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  2. No regrets. Lived life to the fullest.

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  3. Unfortunately, all I can think of are sarcastic ones ("she still looked pretty good, right up until the end"). I'm curious what other people are going to write. -Jenn

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  4. Bold, spontaneous, loving, funny, pain in the arse

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    1. Yes, I think that suits you. It might be a good one for me too.

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  5. Still thinking (though I had a good idea some time ago - must check it..)
    So, in the meantime, I might opt for: "Nice to see you!" (hahaha)

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  6. That I made some pretty good art.

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  7. Everything looks ordinary
    If you look at it long enough

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  8. "SABLE: Stash Acquired Beyond life Expectancy. For a pile of free fabric, please talk to her husband"

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    1. That's like the economy obituary notice in the paper: Henry dead. Volvo for sale.

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  9. May the road rise up to meet you

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    1. Ooh no - sounds like a few accidents I have had.

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    2. It´s actually a pilgrim blessing for those walking to a shrine

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  10. Expect little and see if you're surprised.

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  11. I won't have a stone since my ashes are to dumped in a whole and a lilac bush set atop of them. I requested that at my memorial no one be permitted to speak that cannot recount a good story and a bad one. If they do not know a story of a shortcoming, they do not know me well enough to speak at my funeral.

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  12. Replies
    1. Yes, I thought so but thanks for the extra comment.

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  13. I thought Spike Milligan's was a good one. "I told you I was ill" he is buried in Winchelsea churchyard and they wouldn't let those words be on the tombstone, so it is in Gaelic since he was Irish by birth.

    Personally I will have nothing and will have no funeral service since "Pure Cremation" will be attending to things. There is a number someone will ring when I die. They will turn up and take me away to be burnt - about as close as I can get to the weekly refuse disposal lorry!

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    1. Churchyards are very fussy about wording. What does your family think about your arrangements?

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    2. I consulted all of them before making the decision. My daughter in Oz thought it was an excellent idea and should be more common.

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  14. I'm with Avus on this one Pure Cremations will be my end with the dust scattered on the ground. Milligan's words have been echoed by Tom Moore's epitaph though slightly changed 'I told you I was old'.

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    1. I think it was Socrates who, when asked what they should do with him on his deathbed, said, "If you can find me you can do what you like with me."

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  15. I don't really care what I will be remembered for .... not a lot I wouldn't think ! Here are a few epitaphs that I like .... Oh No !, one from a gay Vietnam veteran ..... When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one !!, a husband and wife's tombstone .... We finally found a place to park !!
    We were watching a crime series McDonald and Dodds last night .... it is set in Bath .... they went into The Bell ..... I was looking for you but you were hiding ! XXXX

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    1. They shipped in a load of London extras to play real customers in the pub. We were gutted at not being paid to drink beer all day.

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