Have you noticed how government ministers addressing the COVID crisis no longer say, "Let me be absolutely clear..." as they used to after every question from the news media?
I tried to find the postal address of an organisation yesterday to which I need to send a general communication, because I did not want to be seen away at the gate by a robot before I have even made my pitch. I am the old fashioned sort who has chosen a particular grade of writing paper with a carefully designed letterhead, because I believe that first impressions not only count, but they count a lot.
Not many people can write a good letter, but I think can. If everything goes tits-up I am thinking about moving to India and becoming a village scribe. The website of the organisation had the usual 'contact' page, but it only had a phone number (probably manned by a trained deflector) and one of those forms to fill out that neatly slots you into one of the few categories they use to triage callers by level of importance, as defined by the I.T. specialist who designed it. They begin with: Title: Mr, Mrs, Other...'
I was about to sign-off when a live chat window popped up. It was called Kelly and asked if I would like to chat about something.
I asked Kelly for the postal address of the organisation and pressed send. After a long pause Kelly got back and politely enquired why I wanted the address, so I told it that I needed to send a letter. Another long pause, then the agent is typing...
Kelly asked what the letter concerned, so - knowing that I would not be going off half-cock as I would with a real human being - I told it. Another even longer pause...
Kelly eventually informed me that it was unable to give me a postal address at this time, only a link to an email address which might put me in touch with someone who may be able to help. Is there anything else I can help you with today? it asked, as if I had received any help at all.
"Thank you Kelly. May I ask if you are an algorithm or has there been any human input to this conversation?" The reply could have been formulated by a government minister.
You are very welcome to ask, Tom. I am Kelly, a member of the Live Chat team.
Great! Excellent read..Loved it..!
ReplyDeleteAnd very true of course, one of the
many annoying things l find, is in a
simple phone call, through to reception,
"Can l speak to Mr Jones please"?
"Can l speak to the person in charge off"?
The receptionist says.."What's it about"?
I always politely say.."Sorry, l've no wish
in repeating my problem, twice". Nuff Said!
I'm no letter writer..But! I get results..
I've written many a letter for fiends, family
mostly minor complaints..In the final paragraph
l always finish with something upbeat, funny, in
relation to what l'm writing about..many moons ago,
l used to write comedy scripts..so l've always had a
flare to the funny side of things..And! Yes! I've had
a 100% success rate..!
The top photo reminds me of the first robot wedding that
happened in Japan, some years ago now..I believe it actually
ended with a kiss..! Ah! Bless!x
I bet you are much more successful than I am in getting your way through a letter. Robot kiss...clang!
DeleteAnd you write to fiends!
DeleteHaHa! Of course..Why leave them out..! :).
ReplyDeleteOh! Another fault l have..I can't speal..!
I can't speal in my own language or in English..
It took me four attempts to get English 'O' level..
Mock exam...93% Essay/Precis 3% Grammer..
In the end, l passed because they add the two together
and then divide by two..l think..! Or perhaps l just
got my name right..I have four after all..!
Can l go have my Tortelloni now..spelt that right..! :o).
I am sorry you feel that I have been unable to help you today, Tom.
ReplyDeleteOnce again I have no idea what you are talking about.
DeleteI feel as if the world has now gone way ahead ofme Tom. Give me good old Basildon Bond (white of course not tasteless blue - oh and the larger size page)anytime.
ReplyDeleteMy mother liked the blue, but there agin she put a print of 'The Green Lady' on the wall.
DeletePersonal contact with real people is a bonus these days.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, sometimes not.
DeleteOh, I hate that. When the chat facility first started, I think it was a real person but not now. I also hate being referred to Frequently Asked Questions because my question is never there .... I WANT TO SPEAK TO A REAL PERSON !!! XXXX
ReplyDeleteFrequently asked questions? Tell them to FAQ off.
DeleteIt is exasperating not being able to speak to a Real Human Bean.
ReplyDeleteI speak to has-beans these days.
DeleteGive me a phone number. Then press 0 constantly. And I get a person.
ReplyDeleteBut, letters can be infinitely more satisfactory (to the writer). However, Gen X has no address, except the phone and whatever apps it holds.
What I don't want is to speak to a call-handler who has nothing to do with the company. Here, many of the call-handlers arE Indians reading from a script, and sometimes have a poor grasp of English.
DeleteHahaha - reminds me of the movie "Best Marigold Hotel" as Judy Dench tries to phone an institution and lands (telephonewise) in India...
ReplyDelete...after hours with almost the same dialogue as yours
DeleteIt is an obstacle course.
DeleteIt's all call centers these days. Well trained problem solvers via the phone is a thing of the past. Lately, I find youtube more helpful. Type in the question, get a solution in video form.
ReplyDeleteYou Tube covers everything. In that respect it is a true resource.
Delete