Friday 6 December 2019

Guess who's coming to dinner


This is the time of year when we all get 'Love Actually' out of the DVD collection and prepare ourselves for a few nights of undisturbed escapist fantasy.

In reality the only bachelor to live at 10 Downing Street in living memory that I can think of was Edward Heath. He played the pink oboe organ.

If Hugh Grant as Prime Minister tried it on with his personal assistant these days, he would be thrown out of Number 10 and the Party. In reality, he had sex with a gross American transvestite at the same time as he was dating the most beautiful woman (allegedly) in the world.  I am beginning to spoil Christmas for myself now, so I'll stop there.

As we all know, the next Prime Minister is going to be Jo Swinson. Unfortunately she is married with two children, but that didn't stop a female Prime Minister having torrid sex with her bodyguard in... er... Bodyguard. No, I just remembered. That was a fantasy too.

Jo Swinson was asked on Women's Hour today if she was treated any differently as a woman candidate by the males who interviewed her in the run-up. She complained that she was constantly being asked about her children and clothes etcetera, which would not be the case if she was male.  She actually began the interview by describing herself as a mother of two, and it was pointed out that she had described Boris Johnson as 'not much of a father', or words to that effect.

The Chief of the Metropolitan Police is a lesbian called Dick if that helps in any way.

Here's a bonus: Jacob Rees-Mogg in Stanton Drew stone circle.  Stanton Drew is good for magic mushrooms if you like that sort of thing. His constituency seems to circle Bath. Some of my friends are under his evil influence, and some - like me - are under the influence of Axis forces.


7 comments:

  1. Which party is Grant supporting today?

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  2. In Pointless a contestant called her Caressa Dick. He received maximum points for his answer and was told it will be alright on the night.

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  3. No one's elections can be over too soon, except perhaps yours.

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  4. You found him at Stanton Drew, messing around with history, hope he did not step in a cowpat.

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    Replies
    1. He just looks so totally out of place - like Corbyn in a casino.

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