Wednesday 5 December 2018

Life, death and everything in between


Yesterday's funeral went as well as could be hoped for. I was shocked to see how the mother had deteriorated in the 48 hours since I saw her last. Stress and grief had scored red/black lines deep in her face and a large cold sore had appeared on her upper lip. If ever there was proof needed that unhappiness is bad for your health, there it was.

I had spent the previous day in bed with a cold, so it was a bit strange to be driving through the sprawling suburbs of Bristol that my Sat Nav insisted was the best route. On a map it looked simple - follow the river on the road North of the Avon then turn right up the hill. Whoever programmed that gadget probably lives in China.

Young people piss me off these days. I and another old person were discussing transport to the crematorium in the pub the day before, and were offering lifts to young people who had no cars, let alone licenses. One young woman (about 30) decided she would go with me because I said that I would be driving straight back to Bath after the service and not bothering to try and find a parking space outside the tiny house in a packed street where the first reception was to be held.

The evening before I tried to message her for arrangements, but no reply. I tried to actually phone her, but no answer. I left a bleak declaration that I would just leave without her if I did not hear back, and she finally informed me that she was going with someone else but may ask for a lift home - if it suited her. I could hear the pantomime sigh of exasperation in her voice, even in a text. In the event it was never mentioned and I went home alone in my large, empty car.

There is a culture now which says it is perfectly ok to cancel any arrangements without telling the other party if you get a better offer.

I have actually heard some young people arranging to meet - unless something better turns up in the meantime. I have seen friendships fall apart because of this - it upsets them too when it is done to them by someone else. The friendships only repair themselves when it is eventually pointed out that they all do the same thing to each other.

It is taking the young longer and longer to grow up these days.

Somehow this has turned into a grumpy old man's rant. I was going to talk about life and death, but now I cannot be bothered. I am still not very well.

28 comments:

  1. Social media has made the young slapdash about arrangements and diminished the importance thereof.

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    1. That's true. No more meeting under the town hall clock. The only thing they have in common with the previous pre-social media lot is they have no cars or money.

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  2. It's not just the young. My husband's cousin did this to us, and she's in her 60s. She invited herself to our Thanksgiving dinner, including her daughter, and then we found out from a different relative that the daughter wasn't coming after all, so when we called the cousin to confirm that there would be one less person at the table, the cousin informed us that, Oh by the way, there might be TWO fewer people at the table because she had not decided whether she would come to our house or to her friend's house...but she'd let us know eventually.

    Mind you, Thanksgiving in the U.S. is a big deal, and we are not a restaurant, and we have other friends we could invite, and this cousin INVITED HERSELF in the first place!

    I had words with this cousin and I un-invited her, and she stayed on the Shit List for three years. But she was with us this past Thanksgiving (two weeks ago) and all is forgiven.

    It's narcissism. Maybe there's an epidemic of it amongst the under-30s, but it's a disease of any age group.

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    1. I would have erased her from the family tree.

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    2. Not quite the same, Vivian, but my cousin invited me to Turkey Day festivities and I gratefully accepted. He then decided to cancel somewhat last minute to go with this family to Tahoe instead (but I could go to Tahoe with them for the duration). Um, no.

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    3. The authorities do not allow smoking on the banks of Lake Tahoe. Stupid cunts.

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  3. O these young people of today !
    I recall hearing that phrase bandied about by persons of age all through my teens and beyond. Todays young people stay on in education for a longer amount of time than I did. So it is hardly surprising that they have not matured as rapidly as did my generation; although I probably matured fairly earlier than some of my lot did due to the death of my father when I was sixteen.
    I applaud the young people of today for their energy and outlook and I believe that it is by associating with them that keeps me young in mind !

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    1. Energy and outlook should be tempered with good manners, no matter how old or young you are. They don't keep me young in mind, they make me feel old, or at least old in my attitude to manners.

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  4. Perhaps your Venice trip will raise your spirits Tom..best not to dwell on how rude people can be and how shite the world currently is...I hope you feel better soon.

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  5. And I neglected to add: I'm sorry for your sad day and for the misery of the whole situation. A young person was buried, and that is always a crime against nature.

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    1. Oh I don't know. Some young people deserve to be buried.

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    2. This is why I love you, Tom.

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  6. Like Vivian said, I hope your trip is all that you hope it will be and an escape from the sadness that you feel.

    Ignorance has escaped no generation. I have met many dumb ass senior citizens also.

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    1. Of course, but you expect idiocy from the elderly.

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  7. Rude behavior isn't limited to the young, if it was people would eventually grow out of it. Being an inconsiderate asshole tends to be a lifelong condition, I think.

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  8. You poor old dear - sign of getting old when you start complaining about the young. I have long since grown past that age - am really in my dotage now.

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  9. You see the same attitude to answering a mobile phone in the company of a friend - the caller could be more interesting to talk to than the person right in front of them! I've seen couples in cafes with one on the phone having a merry old time while the other is pretending they don't care.

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    1. Mobile phone etiquette is either non existent or ignored. I have had young people playing games on their phones during a dinner I have cooked for them.

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  10. It's just good manners to let someone know if you will be there, are running late, or if something is cancelled. Say please and thank you, hold the door for the person behind you, offer to help someone who seems to be struggling, and for god's sake, don't leave your shopping cart in the middle of the aisle! -Jenn

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    1. People constantly walk in front of you in the street on their phones here. They cannot walk and talk at the same time.

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  11. I, myself, wrote recently about this bizarre attitude that people have towards punctuality etc. It simply amazes me!

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  12. One of my grandkids just had a birthday party, where no one responded to the birthday invitations. Everyone showed up but the uncertainty it caused.
    It's just good manners.
    I have a wicked cold and now an eye infection, so I am just cranky right now.
    Enjoy Venice.

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