Jennifer has just said that yesterday was the first day of Advent, and it reminded me of the bowel cancer testing kits that they send people (but not me) through the post. Each day has a little window which, back at the clinic, the technician is tasked with lifting to see what lies behind. It's never a surprise. It's always shit.
On this - the darkest and wettest day of the Winter to date - I have a very bad cold, so I am staying at home with a heater on. I have to get myself in a condition well enough to drive to the other side of Bristol tomorrow to attend my friends' son's funeral. Another shit day.
Now I am thinking of those girlie calendars which always hung on the walls behind the counters of builder's merchants and car mechanics. I've just found the 1961 example above, advertising 'Rigid Pipe'. How tasteless.
There were naked women for every month of the year, often holding spanners. The most startling one I ever saw had a photo of a woman completely naked between the steel toe-capped boots on her feet and the yellow hard-hat on her luxuriantly blonde head. She was halfway up a ladder and carrying a chainsaw. Of course, a picture like that would not be tolerated these days. It's Health and Safety gone mad.
"It's never a surprise. It's always shit." Hahaha! You never fail to make me smile, Tom. Your mind works in mysterious ways!
ReplyDeleteIt's a mystery to me as well.
DeleteI did the poo test once ..... you had to use a little wooden stick to place it on the window on the card ...... I thought they only gave you one stick so I turned it around for the next window and got poo all over the palm of my hand .... I found the other sticks too late !!!!!
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling better soon and tomorrow isn’t too upsetting. XXXX
Too much information Jack@, but it does give a new slant on A.A. Milne's Pooh Sticks game. The upsetting thing about tomorrow will be, of course, his parents tearing themselves apart.
DeleteI once saw an advent calendar that had a condom behind every window. No surprises there then!
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't a Catholic one, I am guessing.
DeleteYou don't get calendars at all now.
ReplyDeleteNobody needs them. You can get pictures of naked women on your phone, including dates.
DeletePeter always wanted one for his shed. I used to have to track one down for him. Pussy cats as opposed to pussies
DeleteCat's charity shops - of which there are many in the provincial towns around here - are the place to go for those. Melksham, for instance.
DeleteHe would have preferred pussies
DeleteMy dad had a risque calendar in his workshop. The same calendar, year after year. I had no interest in it, but since it grew more and more ragged, I'm sure my brothers did.
ReplyDeleteStuck in 1961 until they married...
DeleteWhisky, honey and hot water in large quantities all day is the answer.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the fresh ginger Weave.
DeleteNaked women are a mystery to me
ReplyDeleteI wish I could say the same for naked men.
DeleteI found putting all those other ingredients in whiskey just ruined it. Whiskey neat please!
ReplyDeleteI leave out the whiskey.
DeleteWe had letters recently to say our poo sticks will be arriving soon, probably getting Santa and his elves to deliver them to save the NHS money. When I was younger and working in a mostly male environment I hated those nude calendars which were rife in the construction industry. They started arriving at this time of year I would bin them before the blokes could see them.
ReplyDeleteI just remembered the cardboard racks of salted peanuts hanging up in pubs. The nuts covered a photo of a semi naked woman and the more nuts sold, the more of her was exposed. Hard to imagine, but it was not that long ago.
DeleteFertilizer ads in the Farmers Weekly still have semi clad girls.
DeleteDo they? What sort of fertiliser is it?
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