Friday, 20 April 2018

Gull wars


If you do not live in Bath city centre, you will not understand the problem we have with gulls, from dawn to dusk, all breeding season.

I have just bought the above - a 100+ DB waterproof loudspeaker which can be operated from my bedroom.

When it arrives I will mount it on our centre valley gutter and use it every time I hear some fucking gull landing on the property.

I will keep you informed regarding efficacy.

Yuk yuk...

13 comments:

  1. I lost a prawn sandwich recently just outside Marks and Spencer's ...I feel your pain

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  2. One prawn would have been bad enough but a whole sandwich... unthinkable.

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  3. My dad wanted to do this once to a neighbor he feuded with. Except, I think, his involved radio waves and he had to build it himself, and it involved reams of drawings, and so it didn't happen before he left. Your sounds far more manageable. Except for disturbing the peace some more.

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    1. That feud sounded serious. Were the radio waves designed to be lethal? Yes, I will be very briefly disturbing the peace every now and then, but I will not keep it up from dawn to dusk like the gulls do with their racket.

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  4. I understand you totally. In Brighton, the roof of our home is a 'Gull Community Centre', where they hold rowdy debates, loud parties, and late night dances. Let me know if it works, otherwise it's back to the Purdey.

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  5. Our gulls in Hythe are very refined they don’t seem to go in for that sex carry-on. Only smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwiches seem to tickle their taste buds, so you are perfectly safe with prawn.

    LX

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    1. I have had fist-fights with the gulls in St Ives. They are really pushy.

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  6. What will you say to the gull that lands?

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    1. This speaker is designed as a bicycle 'bell' and I don't know what the 6 different 'rings' are yet. Maybe it shouts 'FUCK OFF' in Chinese.

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  7. How will your neighbours (human) respond?

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    1. My only neighbour is the American woman who spends hours shouting at her dog, so I don't care. Having said that I think she has moved out because I haven't heard her for months.

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  8. I should have explained that this measure is only being taken to stop any gull from nesting in our gutter and causing a flood. I cannot do anything about wherever else they go to shout.

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