Ghost in the machine

Hello. Remember me? My iMac has had a personality transplant and is now as frisky as a computer half its age. I wish they could do the same for me.

Since late last year, my life has been taken up with machines. I am going through the long and tedious process of getting to know and understand the foibles and character traits of my elderly Volvo, so I am glad that I do not have to think too much about my elderly computer. I should not have said that. I should not have said that.

The 'new' car has the letters 'SE' after its name. This means that it was - in its time - top of the range. Someone once paid about £35,000 for this Volvo, and it - like an old dowager duchess - is not going to let me forget it. I think it feels as though it is undervalued, and it may shortly become petulant and uncooperative to show me it knows what I paid for it.

It will not - I hope - be anything serious, just little things like the whining fan from deep behind the dashboard which stays whining even after you take the ignition key out. It stops after about 30 seconds, then begins again as you open the door to get out. It reminds me of the man who - in desperation to get away from his wife - decides to go to the pub, and the last thing he hears as he closes the front door is her reminding him about some undone chore or task about the house.

Does that analogy sound typical of an unreconstructed male chauvinist to you? Well there is a big backlash against some women who some other women think are jumping onto an already over-loaded 'Me Too' bandwagon, making it difficult for the women with more serious complaints to have their voices taken seriously.

Of course, men would not have been able to make this observation without being lynched, but it does emanate from Paris (France), so it might not carry the same weight as if it emanated from California.

Didn't I say that if they were to prosecute French men for historical inappropriate sexual advances toward women, there would be nobody over the age of 15 left on the streets?