Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Saturday, 13 January 2018
An arrow once loosed...
John just pulled a post showing a picture of a crying child with one word underneath - 'Discuss'. The trouble is that once you put these posts up they are there forever in the sidebar, it is just that nobody can discuss them.
The other strange thing about putting up posts is the way that '&' turns into the word 'ampersand' in the title. I once wrote 'ampersand' into a title and it published as '&'. You have to find these things out for yourself unless you attend night-school classes in blog publication and code writing.
I heard recently that there is a code you can attach to emails and other things which makes them automatically self-destruct after they have been read. How useful that must be if you want to tell your area manager that he is a bastard and still keep your job. The added bonus would be that he could be diagnosed as a delusional paranoiac when he tries to show it to the general manager.
A few years ago I typed a message on H.I.'s employers' internal email system for her, and as it involved the employment of artist's models, it contained the word, 'nude'.
The email's security system has software which scans for obscenities, and it would seem that the word 'nude' was deemed obscene by the programmers, so it was immediately blocked and returned unsent along with a warning message about abusing the system by sending obscene messages.
I love the notion of a load of people in an office in, say, Slough, all hunched over their computers trying to remember every swearword they have known since childhood. They would have to turn a blind eye to words like 'bottom', or design an even more expensive program which considered words in context. I don't know how many people are called 'Fanny' these days, but I bet they would have a problem using H.I.'s system.
I imagine the scene in the software designers office to be something like this: A tired programmer has printed a huge list of obscenities over a period of days and nights, then he shows it to his proof-reader. His proof-reader spends half an hour trawling through it, occasionally asking what a particular slang word means, then says, "You missed out 'felching'.
The really creepy thing is that when I went back to remove the offending 'n' word from H.I.'s email, it vanished before my eyes. They had wormed their way into her personal emails and deleted it for her.
The technical experts said that was impossible, but I know it isn't.