Sunday 7 January 2018

A rat stole her knickers

My crippled iMac will not let me run the scanner, so I had to take this picture on the phone. I have sort of stopped making Rat drawings for H.I. these days, but I used to leave one for her every morning. This one obviously relates to food - probably what we ate the previous night. There is one in the same series of Mahatma Rat which alludes to a curry I cooked. I think I must have found the time to do them by getting up earlier than I do these days.

My friend the barmaid (and accountant) told me last night that a rat in her town flat has returned. They had set a humane trap for it a few weeks ago, then released it in a park. I think that their present rat must be a different one.

The first rat was discovered when her knickers went missing from the laundry basket. At first, she thought it was one of her boyfriend's friends stealling them for unspeakable purposes. If you saw her, you would understand why this would be the first thing to come to mind. Then one night, she saw one pair of her knickers disappearing into a hole in the skirting board.

The rat completely ignored her boyfriend's boxer shorts. I don't blame it. She thinks that her knickers made better bedding and were easier to pull through the hole.

The latest rat favours plastic, which it shreds up before taking away. The creature obviously has no taste whatsoever.
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29 comments:

  1. libby7 January 2018 at 06:18

    We all 'sort of stop doing things' the longer we are together sometimes. In the summer my brother helped me clear out my garage...he told me there had been a rat there and when I said he must be mistaken and it must have been a mouse and I was terrified and almost had the vapours he said as he swept up the droppings 'ok ..it was a mouse...with a mouse mouth but with a rats arse'.
    Given the state of most mens boxer shorts (what is it with men and skid marks?? can't they wipe their arse properly?) then of course a ladies pants would be chosen....

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    1. Tom Stephenson7 January 2018 at 06:30

      I'll have you know that - without too much information - I am meticulous in my cleanliness. You could eat your dinner off my arse. Ladies tend to leak from the front in my experience. Bad design.

      Delete
  2. libby7 January 2018 at 06:49

    Then I must have been unlucky....well done you and your hygienic ways...and just out of interest what sort of dinner could be eaten from an arse such as yours?....

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  3. Cro Magnon7 January 2018 at 07:21

    Right; that's the last time I eat Toad in the Hole!

    Country Rats can be quite nice. I once found a dead one in my compost. It had made a nice big nest in there, and its 'larder' was filled with pink coloured wheat (poison). The Rat itself was very clean and well kempt. I felt rather guilty.

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    1. Tom Stephenson7 January 2018 at 12:10

      I have nothing against rats. I just wouldn't want to share a flat with one.

      Delete
  4. Joanne Noragon7 January 2018 at 07:54

    That's "toad in t' 'ole" in my best imitation of the best brother in law I ever had. Bill would have skipped your serving with a scatological diatribe, and called for tay.

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  5. The Weaver of Grass7 January 2018 at 08:28

    Please don't put stories on like this Tom. I tend to think of them when I am about to go to bed - then every little sound is an imagined creature!

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  6. John Going Gently7 January 2018 at 09:04

    I be missed mr rat....nice to see him back

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    1. Tom Stephenson7 January 2018 at 12:12

      H.I. misses him as well. I just don't seem to have the time these days, despite how much I waste.

      Delete
    2. Joanne Noragon12 January 2018 at 06:33

      This is the best one liner of the year.

      Delete
  7. Jacqueline @ HOME7 January 2018 at 09:40

    If someone asked me to hold a mouse or a rat, I could do that .... I just don't want them running around our house ! I love your rat drawings and find it endearing that you did one every morning for H.I. XXXX

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    1. Tom Stephenson7 January 2018 at 12:13

      I still love her enough to do it, I just don't. It's bloody hard work to think of a fresh scenario every day.

      Delete
  8. A Heron's View7 January 2018 at 10:18

    Was the rat a tory MP by any chance ?

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  9. Rachel Phillips7 January 2018 at 11:47

    I draw rats too. You may remember. My rats are not like yours, generally running through a scene and not being central to it. On the periphery.

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    1. Tom Stephenson7 January 2018 at 12:15

      Yes, I remember. My rat was the scapegoat for all the little nuaghty things I did - like eating the last bit of whatever from the cupboard. These dreary days, I take full responsibility for my own behaviour.

      Delete
    2. Tom Stephenson7 January 2018 at 12:18

      In the days those drawings were done every day, people would say I should do a children's book featuring Rat. If there are any publishers out there looking at this, I still could...

      Delete
  10. Merlesworld7 January 2018 at 13:59

    Well I never maybe they steal socks too, we have rats we live close to a creek and have bird food around.
    merle..........

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    1. Tom Stephenson8 January 2018 at 01:36

      I have many at my workshop. They are rarely seen but their footprints are everywhere. It is next to a stream (creek) and my neighbour leaves about a ton of birdfood out every year.

      Delete
  11. Yarrow7 January 2018 at 14:36

    Brilliant post title, it got my attention :D You can blame John Gray for my visits to your blog!
    I had a mouse that used a hot water bottle cover for a nest and topped it with a curly gift wrap ribbon. It was very pretty, but the cats still ate the mouse!

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    1. Tom Stephenson8 January 2018 at 01:38

      A houseproud mouse. Most of my traffic goes through John (so to speak). He has plenty to spare. I have long since given up on the catchy title competition with him, though.

      Delete
    2. Yarrow8 January 2018 at 14:52

      Oh, I think you win for sure with this one, but don't tell him I said so ;)

      Delete
  12. Bea7 January 2018 at 23:27

    Did a rat nibble on Ratsolini's portrait? I'd eat that leaning tower of pizza, btw. -just stand right underneath it holding a plate.

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    1. Tom Stephenson8 January 2018 at 01:39

      Do you know, I wondered the same thing then I remembered doing it myself and blaming it on Ratsolini.

      Delete
  13. Maria8 January 2018 at 00:06

    I love the drawing! I'm wondering if Ratsolini is Tuscan or Sicilian.
    Greetings Maria x

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