Thursday, 20 April 2017

Off the wall


I am now gunless so I removed the cabinet from the cupboard to make room for the clothes which were evicted like excess passengers from an over-booked United Airlines flight.

A friend asked me if I felt less of a man for not owning any guns, and I said that I thought I had noticed my willy had shrunk since I got rid of them. If only manhood was that simple.
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22 comments:

  1. MrsC (Maryanne)20 April 2017 at 03:35

    Goodness I hope he said it with tongue in cheek, so to speak! Isn't it manly enough that you bang rocks together all day?

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  2. Jacqueline @ HOME20 April 2017 at 04:55

    I think not having a gun makes you more of a man .... the shrinking willy is probably just old age !!
    I love your floorboards. XXXX

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  3. Cro Magnon20 April 2017 at 05:54

    As some countries reduce their home stocks of arms, others increase them. I wonder if the UK's sale of pitchforks has increased?

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  4. Britta20 April 2017 at 06:03

    So I missed a lot - you had a gun?!?
    I have an old posh Lady pistol from the Le Page (around 1840) - even if it would work (some people think is good that it doesn't) it would take some time to load it. (Retractable hammer)

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson20 April 2017 at 10:48

      I had 3. When I was a kid, I had a classic .22 Derringer. Amazing what we used to get away with.

      Delete
  5. The Broad20 April 2017 at 07:18

    And what did you do with your gun ... and why did you stop doing it?

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson20 April 2017 at 10:49

      I shot clays and I stopped because I had had enough.

      Delete
    2. Tom Stephenson20 April 2017 at 10:53

      I reckon I either shot or missed about 15,000 clays.

      Delete
  6. Sarah 20 April 2017 at 08:06

    All the old chaps at the allotment who used to own guns and shoot the local wildlife have either died or had their licences rescinded. (The rabbits used to end up at the butchers.) Just as well as the beautiful old orchard behind the plots has been grubbed out and is now paddocks and a sand school. I loathe horsiculture too.

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  7. Iris20 April 2017 at 09:23

    Don't worry about the willy. Men with really big cars are supposedly compensating for very small willys. I suggest that you reverse this and get yourself a really small car - automatic enlargement of willy should be imminent.

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    1. Tom Stephenson20 April 2017 at 10:51

      I tried that and it didn't work, not that I care.

      Delete
  8. The Weaver of Grass20 April 2017 at 09:55

    Neither willies nor guns have a lot to do with manhood in my book - I go for a man who can change a fuse, put up shelves, dig the garden, defend me from a fierce dog.....the list is endless.

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    1. Tom Stephenson20 April 2017 at 10:52

      I can change a fuse. I did it the other day. I am scared of large dogs though, especially without a gun.

      Delete
  9. crafty cat corner20 April 2017 at 12:14

    Why is it men are so obsessed with their willies? I don't understand it.
    Briony
    x

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson20 April 2017 at 13:17

      I know you don't. I am not that obsessed actually, but I do like a joke every now and then, and I am not so obsessed that I don't mind making fun of myself and my kind.

      Delete
  10. John Going Gently20 April 2017 at 15:41

    Im obsessed with other mens willies

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  11. LaurelB24 April 2017 at 18:52

    Thank you....best laugh of the month so far!!!

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