I thought of a great April Fools Day joke this morning which I could have played on H.I., but I have left it 24 hours too late and it wouldn't work next year.
What I should have done is buy a packet of caffeine-free coffee and hide all the real stuff we have in store, then wait for H.I. to come down to the kitchen that morning. I would then pronounce that I have thrown away all the coffee and we are now going to drink the caffeine-free to go along with the vapes we are using in place of real tobacco.
She would have gone absolutely ape-shit! I told her daughter my too-late idea by text this morning, and the image of her mother's reaction made her laugh - a lot.
Remember that I recently commented on the self-destructively beautiful village of Bibury in the Cotswolds? About how it must be hell to live in a village so beautiful that even on a Winter's day it fills up with coach-loads of tourists who wander around looking through the windows as if you and your family are waxworks in a museum?
Well Bibury hit the national news yesterday. It turns out that an elderly man who lives there owns an ugly, bright yellow car which he parks on the road where he lives, and has received both official and unofficial complaints demanding that he either buys a better-looking vehicle which would be in keeping with the unspeakably stunning surroundings in which he parks it, or remove it altogether. Some nasty individual even scratched 'REMOVE' into the paintwork.
His travails with his unreasonable and hostile neighbours made the news again and yesterday hundreds of yellow cars came from all over the country and poured into Bibury to show support - see photo above.
About 40 years ago, a woman living in the World Heritage, Grade 1 listed showpiece of The Royal Crescent here in Bath decided to paint the front door of her house in a similar canary yellow, and she was issued with a demand by the council to paint it white, like the rest of the Crescent. She refused so they took her to court. She won. To celebrate, she put up bright yellow blinds in all the windows too and left them closed for years, just to make a point and spoil all those tourist's photographs.
There are aspects of the true English spirit which I deeply admire and am deeply proud of. Some people really do believe in freedom of the indidual and will defend our right to show as much bad taste as we wish.
These are the addresses I have reported so far. Bear in mind that each one comes with about 100 unwanted posts...