Wednesday 20 July 2016

A to B


We aren't used to this heat. Everyone's getting fractious. A water-fight in a London park turned into a knife-fight yesterday, as I tried to catch up on sleep in the back of the Volvo.

Another trainee paratrooper died of being pushed too hard in the sun in the Brecon Beacons yesterday too, just as two did in exactly the same place last year.

I recieved a text from Network Rail warning me of cancelled trains to London because of the risk of derailment through buckled lines. Since they welded all the rails together to make the journies quieter, the expansion both ends of a 150 mile stretch must be measured in yards. I don't know.

Shippers are causing me the biggest problems right now. This is their job description: They are to take an item from one place and deliver it to another. That's it. How can they fuck-up so regularly?

The prospect of red sandstone dust sticking to all the exposed parts of my body (not the parts I used to want to expose) makes me reluctant to go to work again today.

As Winston Churchill once said, the conditions are always perfect for drinking Champagne.

21 comments:

  1. Do you also get mosquitoes in Bath when it gets very hot there Tom? Hope not. Only extra nuisance!
    Greetings Maria x

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    1. No, no mosquitoes in town - well, none that bite me, anyway.

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  2. You have much negative energy so these things will go wrong. Start thinking positively and things will suddenly get better.

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    1. I was only joking when I said you would make a good agony aunt, you know.

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    2. How I love The Rachel and Tom show!

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  3. I like that quote from Mr C. As for the dust? could you wear one of those white paper all in one things that decorators and crime scene people wear? You could be naked underneath and get some air blowing around your limbs....

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    1. I've done it. If it rains, they begin transparent and end in papier maché. It took years to get back into the kid's party market.

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  4. If you keep using lovely words like fractious, I may have to pat you on the non-ample fundament.

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    1. You do know what a fundament is, don't you? Put it this way - you could only pat my fundament with one finger, nomatter how ample it might or might not be.

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    2. Methinks we're using the word quite differently; in Hoosier Hickdom a fundament is your arse.

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    3. Arse hole, actually, but close. It's a small bulls-eye on a large (in some cases) target.

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    4. I think I am right in assuming that the fundament proper stays the same size in most cases, as one gets older - unlike ears and noses.

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    5. So, when Jeremey Corbyn says "Fundamentally speaking..."

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    6. Yup, methinks you have it Cro.

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    7. Exactly. He hits on the fundamental truth. (I think there may be an 's' missing here somewhere.)

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  5. I was surprised to see it was so hot over there! This weekend, we're expecting temps nearing 100. And we have had more over 90 degree days this year than in a long time.The humidity is killing me.

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  6. A drop of Champagne behind your ears, a https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmJxeysqiAY. and then a plunge into a bath filled with Champagne. Cool!

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  7. If Winston was alive today he'd tell you to drink British sparkling wine. I believe it scoops all the medals and leaves the champagne cold.

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    1. Hmm. At around £15 a bottle, it needs to be as good as a French equivalent of 1/3rd the price. I always buy Limoux Blanquette - so much better than methodoise from any other region.

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