Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Thursday, 21 July 2016
What does 'feck' mean?
We have been watching 'The Thick Of It' on DVD recently, because we didn't see it when it first appeared. If you ever want an insight into the inner workings of the Blair government, look no further, and be prepared for extremely bad language.
Armando Iannucci (Italian Scottish) recently said that he does not need to write a further, modernised series, because all this stuff is being played-out in public for real, and besides, Peter Capaldi is a bit busy being Dr Who right now.
I just looked out of the window to see my dapper Irish priest friend, Father Joe, walking down the street. He is dapper because he wears colourful shirts and stylish hats, and I have never seen him in priest's garb. I only call him 'Father' behind his back, but in a friendly sort of way.
He seems to be a priest without a church, and I believe the street children of Brazil are his flock. He lives in an annex of the huge Catholic church here, and I think he has a girlfriend. This may be utter slander, but he is usually with a woman who is every bit as stylish as him and they tour the charity shops with each other as if they are in Harrods. Today he is on his own.
When I used to see him on a regular basis, I wondered how he made any money, but he told me he had a meagre stipend from the Church which he had to scream for, and supplemented his income with scams like smuggling emeralds out of South America to try and sell to dealers in Hatton Garden.
I put him in touch with a gem dealer I sort of knew there once, and he went up to London with his booty to show him. When he returned, he said what a lovely man the dealer was and how good it was to see a framed and signed photo of the President of Israel on his office wall. I understood what he was trying to tell me.
After some toing and froing between London and South Africa, the jewels were deemed 'fecking worthless', and Father Joe asked me if I could think of anything else he could bring back to the U.K. from Brazil. I suggested cocaine, and he said he had already thought of that, but wasn't so stupidly bad at business to know that he would end up with a bullet in his head if he tried.
Like every other Irish person I have met and asked, Joe could not tell me the meaning of the word 'feck'. I still don't know if it is an expletive or not, but these days (see the script of In The Thick Of It) it doesn't seem to matter.