Sunday 27 December 2015

Read instructions before using this medicine...


Last night I re-taught myself the lesson that Green Chartreuse should only be taken sparingly for minor ailments, otherwise it creates its own health problems the day after.

Every Christmas, H.I. asks me to get her a bottle of it, and every year I hold off drinking any until the last minute, then drink about half a bottle in one go. I am going to have to have a lie-down after this.

There is a whole film devoted to the monastery and monks who make it, called 'Die Grosse Stille', and this translates into 'The Great Silence', not the more appropriate 'Die, Gross Still'.

There are only two people at any given time who know the recipe for this brew - one is the monk who mixes up all the herbal ingredients, and the other is the abbot, just in case the other monk suddenly dies.

The great sacks of herbs are put on the back of a beaten-up pick-up truck and taken down to a commercial still in the town, where it is made and bottled in huge quantities, then distributed to alcoholics like me all over the world.

One of the herbs (I happen to know) is tobacco, which is probably the main reason why the recipe is kept secret. 'They' would most certainly ban it if they knew, in the same way they took all the fun out of Absinthe by banning the vitally poisonous ingredient, Wormwood.

I have just remembered why I chose last night to self-medicate - we watched the old black and white Hitchcock film, 'The Lady Vanishes', and at one point the main villain orders two glasses of wine for his victims and a glass of Green Chartreuse for himself.

I am so stupidly affected by advertising, even though I tell myself that I am not.

27 comments:

  1. Green Chartreuse is always the final nail in the coffin for me but, I can't resist ..... you can keep your yellow Chartreuse.... give me green everytime !! XXXX

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    1. I'm sure I would still end up swigging it down if it was black. It's 55% you know...

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    2. I know .... whereas yellow is only 40% ..... child's play !!! XXXX

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    3. Maybe I should use the yellow one in the same way junkies use methadone.

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    4. Which is sell it on to buy the real thing...

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  2. Replies
    1. I can sort of understand that, and I am sure the monks don't mind selling tons of the stuff as a mixer. Champagne? And I thought my hangover was bad.

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  3. When we've all had a few glasses, with and without Champagne, can we play the c*** game ? XXXX

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    1. It is never so good the second time.

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    2. True ..... But it was very funny !!!!! XXXX

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    3. Actually, it gets funnier the more you play it - for some people.

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    4. I could use the copy of the Radio Times I bought. Brilliant idea.

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  4. I never drink anything green.

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  5. I've never had it. Maybe it would be worth a trip to the liquor store tomorrow.

    (I can't today, because it's Sunday, and we still have blue laws that prohibit the sale of alcohol on Sunday. Can you believe that?!)

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    1. I can believe it, but I cannot understand anyone who willingly lives in Utah.

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    2. We were in a restaurant in Utah and they didn't serve any alcohol because they were 100 yards from the schoolhouse !! ....... C***'s !!!! Definitely no green Chartreuse to be had there !!!! XXXX

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    3. We're not in Utah. We're in South Carolina.

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    4. Well like I said, think yourself lucky.

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    5. Oh I didn't say it, I just thought it.

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  6. Oh dear it looks green and sickly and 55% proof , definitely vomit inducing...

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  7. About 20 years ago a friend gave me an expensive bottle of single malt whiskey. I'm pleased to say that it is now finished (entirely by me).

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    1. How many wine lakes have gone down your neck in the same period?

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