Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Wednesday, 2 September 2015
Trouser department anxiety
One and a half hours of high-speed driving followed by two and a half hours of slow-speed shopping followed by one and a half hours of high-speed driving left me with the sort of headache yesterday which is only cured by sleep.
I must have slept deeply, because H.I. told me this morning that she was summoned from her bed by the appallingly loud door buzzer we have in order to answer questions from the police, who had been told that a man who they were looking for had just moved in to this address.
Guess what I bought in Bicester Village? A pair of trousers. Mise must have been right about artists and trousers, but I have never been offered a bursary for them.
Every time recently that I have pulled an article of clothing from the rack which has caught my eye, H.I. has said, "That is too young for you". I dolefully put it back and turn to the perma-press beige section.
Some of you older bloggers may remember the time when - whilst again at Bicester Village - I was approached by a charming and beautiful young woman who wanted to take my photo for her fashion blog, 'The Tweed Pig'. This was probably because I was wearing my absolute favourite tweed overcoat, and hopefully not because I looked like a pig.
I had my 15 minutes of fame which I shared with you. Astoundingly, when she asked where I lived, it turned out that she too lived in Bath. She need not have driven the hour and a half to find me, but destiny is inescapable.
This was about three or four years ago, and about three or four years since I began my search for the perfect tweed hat as worn by Basil Rathbone above. I am still looking for it, and I have had two near-misses made for me in the interim period.
As H.I. went into Missoni to buy her trousers, I went into the nearby Hackett of London to buy mine, in the sure knowledge that I could never be accused of trying to look like mutton dressed as lamb.
It was about fifteen years ago when I decided that I was old enough to wear a hat like the above, so why am I being punished by waiting so long for it?