Thursday 20 August 2015

Another minefield

I'm off to Jane Seymour's old place in a minute, but just time for a quick rant. If they accuse me of turning up late, I will remind them that I am paid by results, not the hour.

There was much talk about relative age yesterday, and how - now that most of us have hit the 60 mark - 40 year-old children remain children, as we did to our parents.

I was standing outside the pub with another 60+ year old a few days ago, when two 16 (I guess) year-old girls walked past, wearing matching, very tight hot-pants. This produces a contradictory reaction in most ordinary males of any age, the most acceptable one being, 'I would not let my daughter/grand-daughter go out like that', and you don't even have to be a Moslem fundamentalist to think like that. The other is simply a reaction caused by biological programming, and there is nothing - short of chemical castration - that we can do about it.

Seeing my children and grandchildren was really reassuring yesterday, because every parent - even a bad parent - want their children to be attractive on every level. Attractive people get on better in life than unattractive ones, and we want our offspring to get on in life, on whatever terms suit them.

That is not to say that if your child seems to be inappropriately portraying herself as a sex-kitten, you shouldn't step in with a few quiet words about moderation - it's a fine line.

Try not to panic is the answer, but who am I to say, bad parent that I have been?

8 comments:

  1. When my children teased about being "old" at fifty, at sixty, I replied I was not old, I merely was no longer in charge. We really aren't at some point; we merely stand by, available to advice and, occasionally, money.

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    1. I have never, ever, been in charge for longer than an hour or so.

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  2. While under my roof, they will dress, behave and do whatever they could get away with when I didn't know. Out of three, two were homebodies and no trouble at all. My eldest, though now a hard working and good lady, caused much gnashing of teeth. All three have turned out well though I still don't approve of all the tattoos. They really are my life's work and mean everything to me.

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    1. It's hard to make them understand that tattoos mean nothing to us, but will mean even less to them when they are our age.

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  3. Tom - Philip Larkin said it better than I can - but we are all bad parents in one way or another, just as our parents were. It's human nature - we just do our best.

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    1. They certainly bucked me up when I was a feeling bit despondent, Weave.

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  4. I had an interesting comment with a friend who said it felt weird to have a child who was 40. She's closer in age to me than I am to my friend, yet I think of her a child since i'm friends with her father.

    My former neighbours have two sons who are now in their 30s. When they were in their 20s, my massage therapist, also in his 20s, was friends with the elder son. I had no trouble accepting Tim as a young man because I met him as a young man. But former neighbours' boys were still boys in my mind. Tim quietly corrected me, "They're fellas now, Megan." He's right, of course.

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    1. I am going to have to re-read this a few times.

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