Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Friday, 24 July 2015
Fowl play suspected
We sit rather comfortably between a high-class deli and the most exclusive jewellers outside London in the whole of the South of England.
On Thursday morning, a hospice charity had the grand opening of their combined shop and cafe, just one door down from ours, and they made a big event of it, with a celebrity cutting a pink ribbon and everything.
Thursday is our rubbish collection day and, although I normally put out rubbish and recycling in the mornings, for some reason I put it out the night before, just prior to going to bed. I couldn't face doing it first thing.
Two things can happen to it overnight - that it gets kicked around by drunks and that it gets pecked open by gulls, even before dawn. I think that both happened, strewing all sorts of organic and non-organic litter right over the new shop's entrance. The managers had to get in professional cleaners to clear it up. Dry brooms just don't work on wet coffee grounds.
The proliferation of charity shops in British high-streets is taken as a measure of poverty in an area now, and because most of them have no business rates to pay, get all their stock for nothing and pay no wages for their volunteer staff, they are often viewed with resentment by their commercial neighbours for bringing the tone down at the same time as paying their own directors hefty salaries from the profits.
So this charity shop immediately and paranoidally jumped to the conclusion that this was an act of sabotage by the high-class jewellers...
As I explained to the director of the jewellers this morning, the management of the new shop have not got a clue about the problems with drunks and gulls in the city centre.