Friday 5 December 2014

Losing your marbles (sorry)


One of the Elgin marbles has just arrived in Russia on 'loan' from the British Museum, and I can't wait for the backlash from Greece.

The B.M.'s policy is to loan anything to anyone who they think stands a good chance of giving it back, but even if Greece promised on the grave of her mother, she still could not afford to 'borrow' it. I don't know why they packed it up and sent it off in secret, because Greece couldn't afford to hijack the plane anyway.

The one big problem with giving the whole lot back to Greece is that it would set a precedent for the rest of the world, and pretty soon the only things left in British museums and galleries would be fakes.

If you wander around the village beneath the Acropolis, there are massive, intricately carved lumps of ancient marble lying about on the streets all over the place - many of them employed as corner stones to stop the wheels of carriages from damaging the buildings.

Modern Egyptians only started to care about their monuments when they realised there was money to be made out of them, but now they really do care, and are trying to halt the damage caused by about 300 years of vandalism and plunder. I don't think they will go as far as to demolish the Great Mosque to replace the white limestone cladding that was torn from the Great Pyramid to build it, though.

The Greeks do have a valid argument that the marbles were allowed to be taken away by the Turks and not them, but I don't know how this relates differently to any other plunder of war or occupation.

Some years ago, I made a disproportionately grand fire-surround for a Welsh Valley-lady whose husband was the butcher in her village - Jones the Meat. At this time of year, coach-loads of Welsh women of a certain age are bussed into Bath to visit the Christmas Market, and this is how this lady ended up in my workshop.

As the fire-surround was being transported to the Valleys, she said, "There. Now I have a little piece of Bath in my own home."

I didn't have the heart to tell her that if she really wanted a little piece of Bath, she would have to pay at least £250,000 for it, and she wouldn't be allowed to take it with her to Wales.

18 comments:

  1. One little piece of your local beautiful golden-coloured Bath Stone is that expensive? Oh my, that might blast my Christmas budget!

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    1. It is if it is big enough to live in. Other than that, it is about £80 per cubic foot, sawn six sides.

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    2. I'll have a cubic foot of it please, sawn six sides.

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    3. ... plus about £250 Air Mail to Ireland...

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  2. If we all had ONLY home made artifacts in our museums, the world would be a rather dull place. Viva multiculturalism (in museums, at least).

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    1. Very true, but - having said that - the Museum of Pencils in the Lake District would probably get a lot more visitors.

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    2. I had to google it. Tripadvisor gives the Pencil Museum four stars and for 4.25 pounds you can have "fun for all ages".

      P.S. When I first heard of the Elgin Marbles a few years ago I thought: "Someone named Elgin has lost his marbles and now they are in a museum? How odd."

      Now, however, I am incredibly smart and know what's what.

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  3. I have wondered about this. George Clooneys wife will give them back. if they are of worth etc would the Greek government not pay for them, if that is the problem?

    And then does that mean that the Swedish government lobby for me to give back my ikea cupboard?

    When in Tunisia we went to Saturns temple. I cant remember where that is exactly I have tried to block that holiday out as much as possible. Anyways we were standing on a mosaic floor. the guide kicked it up with his shoes and was selling it to the people on our coach for about £5 each. and then there were the markers for children that had been sacrificed. they were £15. if that was Italy they would have had a floating floor over the mosaic and guards.

    it is only of importance to a government when they are deflecting the media away from themselves and making others in the spot light or when they think it will make money from the taxes.

    the Louvre is probably shaking in its boots.

    When in London I went on purpose to the BM, and saw the Greek Marbles just in case they are given to Greece. the horses head was my favourite.

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  4. Greece has never shown itself to be sound enough to take back and protect the marbles.

    I meant to return the bit of Hadrian's Wall that was pilfered on my behalf after I made a joke about wanting a souvenier of the wall. I forgot. Next time.

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  5. Nevermind the pebble. I couldn't take the guilt.

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    1. I can hardly take the guilt for not sending it. Maybe I will send a 2500 year old statue instead.

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  6. Pretty sneaky of us to say to Greece that they cannot be moved, too dangerous, and then loan them to The Hermitage. I hope Putin is paying us for the loan and we are making loads of money, not worth doing if not, culture shit sharing doesn't come into it.

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    1. A Greek cultural minister was on the radio yesterday, and was asked if she would return it if it was lent to Greece. "Of course not," was the answer. Oh well, they'll have to wait another 20 years before they are asked again, unless we just give them back.

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  7. Interesting read Tom. I have always been a fervent supporter of returning the marbles to their rightful owners, but having read your post I am beginning to think again.

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    1. They probably should have them back, but it's complicated.

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  8. They could have put a bloody head on it

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