Saturday, 15 November 2014

Bollocks.


The snow-boots I ordered have just arrived and - bollocks - they are far too tight even with thin socks, which is not what you want for a snow boot.

I looked at the size beneath, and it calls them 46. I ordered size 12 UK, and when I looked up the conversion on a chart, all the charts vary - some say the 46 is 12.5, and some say the 12 is 47. Now I don't know who to believe, particularly Wikipedia. 'This site needs verification' is what it stupidly said. Amazon just tried to sell me more boots, saying "Welcome to 'My Amazon', Tom."

All I can think is that the Chinese child who made them cannot believe that anyone could own a pair of feet as big as mine, so scaled it down according to his/her own relative dimensions. There is probably some kind of inherited memory going on as well, which harks back to the time when girls feet were bound to make them more attractive to nasty old emperors.

Then again, it could be a way of saving on materials using the 'every penny counts' business model. This is not so silly as it sounds - in my search for rubber snow boots, I found one brand whose price went up a couple of quid according to the size - and that was in the adult, men's section.

As I mentioned before, bollocks. I will probably have to spend about the same amount of money sending them back as they cost me, without a correct size pair in return.

When I unwrapped the box, I was struck by how battered it is - looking as though it probably contained a second-hand pair of boots. Now I am thinking that the boots have been in a constant cycle of sale and return to and by men who all have genuinely size 12 feet like mine. That would make perfect sense. The box couldn't get into that state by sitting on a warehouse shelf.

You don't get this sort of trouble when buying Crockett and Jones boots, but then again a pair of laces is not far off £23 (actually, about £4, so don't sue me), so you get what you pay for, I suppose.

Bollocks.

27 comments:

  1. Nothing goes beyond 45 here, so being 45 and an eighth I find shoe buying a bloody nightmare. I have rows of unwearable shoes that are all just that tiny bit too tight.

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    1. I don't understand it - I know loads of people with size 12, 13 and even 14.

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  2. sizes vary so much like Cro I have rows of shoes that fitted ok in the shop - a bit like dressing room mirrors that make you look thinner.

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    1. Yes, it takes a lot of self-control not to buy on appearance alone - oand I thought these were so ugly that it wouldn't apply.

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  3. Much sympathy from me. I have made many such mistakes online as I am not inclined to drive to the shops. But I don't care. I just give the godforsaken items to the charity shop immediately so that I no longer see them and feel bad. Then I add 10% to my next invoice to cover the cost. And I go forth to make my next mistake.

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    1. I took delivery of an 18th century glass which is not 18th century last night too. The buyer does not accept returns, so it's just as well I paid £40 for it, and not the £140 I thought it was worth.

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  4. I am sure one person was quite relieved about it.

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    1. Oh that. No, my memory isn't that selective, it's just that I don't expect anyone to latch on to minute details about things I say.

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  5. I certainly understand your 'bollocks' -- but then I discovered long ago that every place you order from has it's own idiosyncrasies when it comes to size -- whether it be clothes, hats, shoes, or anything else you wear. Best of luck finding the right pair of well-fitting winter boots...

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    1. I think you are the only person to have ever said that they understand my bollocks, Broad. I wish I did.

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  6. Husband and son swear it wasn't them who sent the boots back - husband, a slim man of 1.98m, has size 13; son, a beautiful 2,02m man, has size 13,5 - they don't buy shoes online - and even I, with tiny size 5 (I am 1.78m) gave that up too - though I am besotted by shoes - shoes you have to feel. So stay with your Crockett and Jones, they last.
    Though I doubt that they make snowboots.

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    1. No, but they make a lovely pair of rugged country boots - at £480.

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  7. I follow a wonderful FB post, Humans of New York (HONY), a young man who has turned candid photos and short interviews into a living. Apparently he has feet in the size fifteen or sixteen range, and once a Japanese tourist purchased his shoes and left him barefoot on the street, just to prove to the people back home what big feet Americans have.

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    1. It is not true what they say about men with big feet, Joanne, and according to my Japanese friend, it is generally true about Japanese men.

      I think I'm right in saying that US size 13 is the equivalent of UK 12.

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  8. Bollocks notwithstanding, I shall now cross those snow boots off my possible Christmas present list for the farmer. He is the most difficult man in the world to buy a present for as there is never anything he wants. His mobile phone is probably the first ever invented by he doesn't want a new one because it would mean him learning a new set of rules and he can't face that.
    Incidentally - keep the boots, it will ensure that we don't get much snow this winter (sod's law).

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    1. Damn! I should never have returned that umbrella last Winter.

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  9. It's easy. Just go in a shop and buy Hogg or Muck wellies. Muck will make you look a bit groomish. Hogg a bit Knobish. If you want toe protection go to the builders merchants or the chemists. Both will last a couple of years and big feet and little feet slide in and out just perfect.
    Snow in Bath?

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    1. It's not the snow in Bath I worry about standing around in, it's the stuff at my rural workshop. I already have a pair of thermal wellies, but you wouldn't want to walk more than 10 feet in them - they are made for fishermen.

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  10. Do you not get travelling people calling Tom, offering you the end of a roll of a carpet of even boots? We do and I always buy something.

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    1. And Tarmacadam, and air-compressors, and everything except knife sharpening. I think Mise is behind it.

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  12. Oops, typos (and I'm stone cold sober, too - hate that!)

    I buy from Amazon and get free return shipping - maybe it is only from Amazon Prime though (not sure - my son and d.i.l. gave me the gift of Amazon Prime.) Even though I have free return, I got a pair of slippers that I should have returned because they are just slightly too small, but I am too lazy to pack them back up and go to the post office.

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    1. Walking boots to go to the post office?

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    2. I have never walked a pair of boots.

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    3. I own something called an 'Irish Walking Hat', and I've never seen it do that either.

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