Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Monday, 6 October 2014
Where are the Hattatts?
A little birdie told me that they may have made a trip to Brighton recently, and if I find they have slipped in and out of the country without coming to Bath, then I will have a hissy fit.
Actually, they have a good reason to come to Bath, I know, but if they come here without looking me up, then my hissiness will know no bounds.
It's not that the rest of you do not keep me more than entertained, but the Hattatts add a certain glitz to the proceedings which can normally only be obtained by spending about £25 on a gin and tonic at The Ritz.
Thinking about it, I wonder if actually meeting them would destroy the magic. I would be horrified if the first words exchanged were said in a South London - or worse, Brummie - drawl, and their footwear was not of the finest quality.
Right now the weather is not suitable for a Panama hat, but it was the day before yesterday. If Lance turned up in one of those fakes imported from China which cost about £8, I don't think I would ever speak to him again.
I know that Jane used to be the Head Mistress of a girl's school, but which one? What if it were in Dagenham?
OMG - now I think about it, if they - or you - ever met me, then my mystique would probably be lost forever as well, once you realised quite how seedy and sordid my real life is.
Lets just stay where we are and form our opinions about each other from a great distance.