Friday 19 September 2014

"If at first..." (Robert Bruce)


The massive electrical storm which rumbled and crashed its way across the West of England last night, is now rumbling over the East and out to sea, having rumbled over the Palace of Westminster as they sat up all night to hear the outcome of the Scotland vote. I cannot tell what God was trying to say about it, but - like the Queen - he is supposed to be neutral, I think.

The whole of the South of England was affected by this tempest, and it lasted for as long as the coverage of the Yes/No vote took to decide who had won.

My suspicions have now been officially confirmed: Just under half of all Scots hate the English, the other half cannot afford to hate us and 10% haven't got the energy to say one way or the other.

What an unbelievable turn-out, though - almost 90% across the country. There were about 5000 spoilt ballots, but that is probably to do with how drunk they were on party-night. The 10% who did not turn up at all probably reflects various elderly, infirm or isolated people who found it impossible to vote. I think we can see it as an effective 100% turn-out.

The last ballot to be declared was for the Highlands and Islands - even in these days of modern communication, there are some places up there which are very hard to get to, or get back from.

Glasgow voted 'yes' and Edinburgh voted 'no'. That was the least surprising outcome of the whole event. Edinburgh is made up of about 50% English ex-pats anyway, who failed to return from the Fringe festivals of the last 20 years or so.

The Royal Bank of Scotland is the only establishment which is allowed to say, 'it's business as usual', because now they don't have to spend a few more billions of pounds of your money moving their head office down South.

For Westminster, it is the beginning of years of hard work to fulfil the last-minute promises made in desperation as they panicked about the possible 'yes' outcome on the advice of the pollsters, who had gone around various pubs and bars, asking drunk people what they thought about it.

About a year ago, Cameron said something like, "Go on then - have your little referendum and then come crawling back!" Everyone laughed in derision, never dreaming that Scotland felt so strongly one way or the other.

This was why they left it to the last couple of weeks to even begin to think of the implications of a split - they never thought they would have to!

I have to say that I am greatly relieved, and I actually felt quite emotional at about 6 o'clock this morning when the results became clearer. I would have felt emotional either way, I think, and this surprised me. Maybe I was just tired.

Despite what Hollywood tells you, nobody ever shouts "FREEDOM!" when they are being disembowelled.

22 comments:

  1. I thought I couldn't give a stuff one way or another... But of course I really did care deep down
    I am glad too

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    1. Wales will benefit greatly from this referendum, so long as Westminster keeps to its promises.

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    2. And so, it seems, will England.

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  2. Good write up on it Tom - I felt more or less the same. And, like you, I hope the Government honours its promises.

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    1. Well if they don't, then Cameron might have a second chance at reneging on them, thanks to a grateful English electorate.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. 3rd time lucky.
    I hear that CNN calculated that there was a 110% turnout - which doesn't do much for their comprehension.
    Also that have been 10 case of vote rigging in Glasgow (see The Mail & You Tube)
    Pre election promises are notoriously not as good as they first sound, so beware !
    The UK government are notorious for renegading on agreements when it suits them,
    beware again.

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    1. Yes. The Mail and YouTube are famous for their astute assessments of every possibly contentious situation, and their impartial viewpoints on those assessments - just like you are, Heron.

      I wrote this in only two tries.

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  6. Tom, i'm sure many feel the way you do.I do think this is a wake-up call and should the British Parliament renege on some of its promises, another such vote to separate may come sooner than 300 years and with a different outcome.

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    1. Plan B was to declare war on Scotland, then nuke the fuckers from their own harbours, before we were required to rent a different garage for the submarines.

      The Japanese make very good Scotch whisky these days, I am told.

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  7. You were just tired, after all it was very early for you.

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    1. I didn't say I had got out of bed, did I?

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    2. No, it was enough of an effort for you to engage with anything at that time of the day let alone get out of bed.

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    3. You are turning into Heron. I am going to treat you like Heron in the future - no respect whatsoever.

      I am fucking pissed-off tonight and you are not helping.

      Other people have meaningless lives as well, you know - not just you.

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    4. There's no need to take it out on me.

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  8. Take a deep breath.......and think of boobies

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  9. Ok, I am better now, and not blaming others for my state of mind.

    Thanks for your understanding.

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