Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Thursday, 5 June 2014
Shelter from Helter-Skelter
I checked up on the Peregrines just now, and the Bath chick's camera feed is not working, but the Norwich 4 are sitting around preening themselves in preparation for lift off.
Yesterday, H.I. was watching them doing something similar, when an adult flew into shot and dropped a small gull onto the scrape (that's what these platforms are called) without landing, then tore off again leaving the chicks to rip it apart for themselves. Just feeding one chick is light work compared to what the Norfolk parents have to do.
Coming to the end of their maturation process as they are, the four Norwich chicks are the same size as the adults, and they sit around on the bones of all their previous dinners as they wait for the next one. They remind me of those paintings of George and the Dragon - the dragon's lair carpeted with the half-eaten remains of humans who thought they could outwit it in combat.
I know it amuses you all to hear of uncomfortable or ridiculous situations that I find myself in, mainly because of all the comments I receive when I relate them here. I can almost hear the stifled laughter in your voices as you express your concern for my safety and well-being.
I have yet to step put of the house, but when I do I will have half an eye out for a 6' 3" inch woman with black hair, who is wearing an olive green, military style, peaked cap above a shockingly decadent expression on her very open face. Well, it's open in one way, but firmly closed in another.
Some years ago, H.I. had to divert an obsessed woman stalker away from the target of her affection - a fellow teacher here in Bath. She was eventually sectioned, but made life very difficult for the man for about three years - that's a long time to be stalked.
Having seen 'Play Misty For Me', I have long since ceased to find anything flattering about being obsessed over - not that I think the woman in the cap is. I think she may just be looking for customers in her new venue, as I have never seen her before.
I know from experience that if it seems that you can do no wrong in the eyes of your companion/partner/girlfriend, then it is only a matter of time before that form of 'love' turns into pure hate, and - as the Bard put it once - hell hath no fury, etc.
As Sarah pointed out, this sort of encounter is something that women put up with on a daily - if not hourly - basis when walking down the street, but beside being chased down a dark street in Rotterdam by a bunch of Leather Boys, I have never received this sort of attention from another man.
There is a house here in Bath which is a refuge for women who have been abused by their male partners, and although its exact address is supposed to be a secret, most people know where it is. Apparently, the occupants are - in the main - Eastern Europeans or Somalians, and I don't know if this should be an encouraging sign about how British males have changed their behaviour.
I have a friend who is the same size as me, but was beaten up by his tiny wife on a daily basis and didn't know how to deal with the situation. We ended up by forcefully extracting him from his own house, then gave him moral support as he filed for divorce on the grounds of cruelty.
I have been beaten-up just the once by a girlfriend, but I let her get on with it to get it over and done with. She had come all the way from London just to hit me, and nothing I could say would have persuaded her not to.
She was a Yemeni Israeli - a rare thing in this country, to be an Arab Jew - and had trained in the Israeli Army as well as learning Karate in Japan. As it turned out, she was pretty hopeless at hitting people, but managed to break three of my ribs with a lucky strike as I pushed past her to duck for cover.
I have never liked the idea of hitting anyone, let alone women, but I told her I surely would if she came within arm's reach of me as I knelt on the floor trying to catch my breath. I must have said it with conviction, because she stayed away.
I have had plenty of mad girlfriends in the past, but I don't intend to resume my career with the woman in the green cap.