Thursday 24 April 2014

A little break in Cornwall


Ever since the death of Tito and the arrival of Gorbachev, nations have been splitting up into the various ethnic and tribal constituents that make up the whole, and although this seems like 'a good thing' at the beginning, it all seems to end in squabbles with neighbours and economic hardship.

Scotland has long been plotting a breakaway from the 'United Kingdom', and now Cornwall has jumped on the bandwagon. As of yesterday, we can no longer refer to the Cornish as 'English'. They are Cornish living in their own separate country of Cornwall, or 'Kernow', as they will probably now insist that it is called.

I didn't even realise that Cornwall had it's own distinct Gaelic language up until this morning, so I didn't know that it had been declared extinct either, but is now making a come-back and will probably be taught in all Cornish schools as Welsh is - I think. I think they should start teaching Druidism as part of the R.I. classes as well.

Cornwall is poor enough as it is, so I hope they can afford to replace all the road signs with dual-spelling as the Welsh did at great expense, many years ago.

Cornwall - being about as far away as you can get from London in the South - has always been separate, and despite about 400 years of historical attempted tax evasion, has still been forced to contribute to the coffers of Whitehall without any obvious benefits at their end.

The Romans never bothered to colonise the far West, preferring to trade with the canny Cornish for all that lovely tin which lay beneath the rocky surface, so everyone one was happy and the Romans could depend on the Cornish to - if not cooperate - not attempt any irritating and futile uprisings. It was tin which made the Roman's bronze swords sharp, so it was important not to use them against the secretive Cornish, who knew the dark, dank and dripping caverns which hid it well.

I don't know the percentage of true Cornishmen per capita in Cornwall, but I do know quite a lot of true Englishmen who either live there, or have second homes there. I could only spot a true Cornish person if they had a name like 'Pendragon', or anything else which begins with 'Pen'.

One of the self-styled chiefs of the Druids of England has changed his name from something like Brian Smith to Arthur Pendragon, which is only going to confuse us in the future.

I have a prediction: Bretagne in Northern France will break away from the Republic and call itself Gaul. It will then re-unify with Cornwall, because 100 or so miles of water has never kept them apart in the past. Then we will become part of the true continent of Europe again, and not just a fictitious federal state as made up by a bunch of bureaucrats in Brussels.

They already have a head start - the alliance between Northern France and Western England will turn Bretagne into Grande Bretagne - again.


39 comments:

  1. Makes you proud to be from Grockleland.

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    1. What is their economy based on; a bit of agriculture, some fishing, and tourism. Suddenly Devon and Dorset sound very appealing.

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    2. That bit of France, just over the water from Cornwall, is called Cornouaille (Corn-why). You may not be far from the truth.

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  2. Hello Tom:

    Once this starts there is likely to be no end. The possible permutations are mind boggling. It cannot be said that we do not live in 'interesting' times!

    Any signs yet of self-rule for Bath?

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    1. All Bath's revenue goes to Central Government, aside from what is creamed-off by the Council.

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  3. Lincolnshire and The Netherlands anybody?

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    1. Twinning counties with countries now? You're ahead of the game, Weave.

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  4. Cornish people speak funny. Cornish pasties are horrible. I an glad the place is a long way from me.

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    1. Is that John Wesley in the picture? I was once in Cornwall and tripped over a chapel, they seemed to be as numerous as the pasties.

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    2. I thought it was that airline guy!

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    3. He looks like a Rajneeshi I used to know ...

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    4. No it doesn't look anything like Michael O'Leary although he does think he is God.

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    5. I meant Richard Branson

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    6. I need to fully wake up before I post replies on blogs!

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    7. It's not the Pope, it's the wrong alb.

      Michael O'Leary thinks he is the Pope as well as God but the Monopolies Commission wouldn't allow it.

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    8. I'm just going to let you carry on talking amongst yourselves for now - I have dinner to cook.

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    9. Definitely my ex boyfriend. He liked the idea of getting an egg whip onto the jizz.
      Sorry Tom. Dinner.

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    10. 'Egg whip onto the jizz'? Got any photos?

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    11. Have you finished the fucking cooking yet?

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    12. Yes, and eaten it. Off to beddybyes now. Nighty-night.

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    13. BTW - That bloke in the photo is the Arthur Pendragon I was talking about - a shy, retiring sort, I think.

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  5. My family tree is rooted in Cornwall...there's even a book about them....

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  6. Isn't difference the spice of life? It's only when people start beating each other up for being so different that it gets boring.

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    1. That's why I have always stayed the same. Never been beaten up.

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  7. Well I'm all for self rule....I'm now declaring myself an independent state.....

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  8. This is probably only the beginning! Some talk already about giving London independent status. Yorkshire could be, too ... especially if they don't get Richard's body back! Maybe we should get the middle ages back and start all over again ... with Scotland!

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    1. London - or the square mile - has always had it's independence, like the Grosse Freiheit of Hamburg. That's why we're so fucked. I want Richard 3's body in Bath, to settle any arguments and avoid another war.

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  9. There's a Pendragon Castle near Hawes in N. Yorks and not far from there is the mountain Pen-Y-Ghent (Hill of Winds). Cymru (or Wales) covered the greater part of England long ago except basocally for the SE. The word Pen is Welsh for hill etc. as in Pen-Y-Groes for example. The Cornish should consider themselves Cymro if they want to consider themselves ancient.

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    1. Are you sure you don't drink all day, Gwil?

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