Saturday 19 October 2013

You should have seen the look on her face


H.I. is used to me coming home with weird bits of junk, but the other day I really excelled myself.

Now come on - admit it. If you walked into a charity junk shop and saw this thing on offer for £2, would you not have bought it yourself, even if you had no immediate use for it?

It is a full-sized, heavy-gauge steel helmet which has been professionally riveted together by a theatrical armorer and patinated in a fetching shade of mottled green to which Farrow and Ball would probably assign the name, 'Frog's Breath'. It weighs quite a lot, and wearing it without a leather lining is quite painful. I know, I tried it on.

My eye was drawn to it in the shop, where it nestled unassumingly amongst old clothes, books and children's toys. I quite often see cars pull up outside and people bringing unwanted items inside as donations, but I didn't see this one being delivered.

I have a vision of Darth Vader opening the boot of his car and extracting an old helmet to give the the nice ladies who run the shop. This is not so far-fetched as it sounds, because the actor who plays Darth lives just outside Bath and has a pronounced, farmer's Somerset accent. They had to break it to him that his character's voice was to be spoken by another actor, as it would have been unlikely that an attempt to take over The Universe would have been made by someone from Shepton Mallet, no matter how large that someone was.

I have a feeling that I have seen this helmet before - possibly in a promotional photograph for a modern Shakespeare production. Recognise it anyone?

Well, what with the Willow Manor Ball coming up and the Winter season festivities shortly afterwards, I may find a use for it after all. I might even sell it for scrap in February.

Understatement of the week:  (Woman in shop):  "I think that's probably the most unusual thing we have in at the moment".

21 comments:

  1. I would certainly have bought it; I already have a 'Roman' helmet which would befriend it.

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  2. Isn't that David Prowse, Green Cross Man extraordinaire who played Darth? What a strange career. I love the helmet and would definitely have bought it too.

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    1. That's him. I used to know an American actor here in Bath, whose claim to fame was being strangled (with one hand) by Darth Vader in a Star Wars film.

      He played a Captain, and I think that was the last thing he ever played - he spent the rest of his career going around the world, signing dolls of himself at conventions.

      He died recently.

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  3. Well, it must be a man thing as I don't get it but, you probably would wonder about some of the things that I buy !! Where are you going to put it ?!!
    ....... and, our daughter is in Bath this weekend so, say hello won't you ? !!!!!!! XXXX

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    1. It definitely is a man thing - both H.I. and her daughter reckon I should give it to the boy (20 years old) as a Christmas present.

      Tell your daughter to look out for me - I'll be wearing the helmet.

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  4. Wow, that is truly weird. I probably would have bought it too!

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    1. You'd have to,eh? £2? Who wouldn't?

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    2. Well ..... I've had a little think about it and,maybe I could wear it on a Saturday night .....it might make a nice change from the latex rubber mask that I usually wear !!!! XXXX

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    3. At least you wouldn't be constantly fumbling with a zip every time you wanted a drink... or maybe you would...

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  6. Helmet be damned, it's an upside down Flowerpot !

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  7. That's why we have basements in Canada. So our men can have a place to watch hockey and to keep their purchases of things like green masks.

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    1. We have attics, but only girls watch hockey in this country.

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  8. Did you give any thought when trying it on as to whether you would be able to get it off again?

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  9. Hmm, that would be coveted at Comic Con! You might want to get it insured should you ever attend one! ;)

    Kat

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