Wednesday 17 July 2013

In the heat of the night


It must have been because of the heat-wave we are having, but yesterday's post turned into a bit of a rant, and John said I had gone all Ingmar Bergman on him over cut flowers. I said that I thought I had gone all Oscar Wilde, forgetting that he was trained in how to sit down, watch a film, then tell everyone else what to think of it in an authoritative manner, and it is to him that I dedicate this post title.

That's not all I did last night. Remember how I said that I was now all booted-up for the rest of my life when I bought the black pair of Crockett and Jones ones recently? Well I lied.

Crockett and Jones sent me an email alerting me to the fact that their sale is now on, and included a link to all their outlets in the U.K. which I duly clicked on. Theirs is the one box I ticked to be alerted to any promotional material, but I don't remember clicking on all the Pizza Express and mature dating sites - no, I mustn't get started on that one again.

There is an all-weather boot with a sewn-in tongue and commando sole that C & J make called 'The Snowdon', and it is rather handsome. My reasoning behind blindly lusting after it is that if I were to buy a pair, I would not need to wear all those cheap, ugly things to go mushrooming or walking over Cornish cliffs - and buy them at a rate of a pair a year.

So I started emailing all 6 branches with an identical request for information on The Snowdon in size 12, copying and pasting the message into the identical forms they all have, which include name, telephone number, etc. etc. I failed to send the message to the last branch on the list - Birmingham - which is where I had bought the last pair from, or so they lied to me. They - in fact - had them sent from  London, when the London branches told me they had none in stock.

At around midnight, when the temperature had dropped to about 75 Fahrenheit, even Crockett and Jones's computer began to lose it's temper, and sent me a somewhat snotty automated response asking me to 'kindly refrain from sending duplicate emails'.

I had not understood that all email addresses to the different branches are the same, and my multiple requests must have had the same effect as screaming GIMME SNOWDONS! GIMME SNOWDONS ! GIMME SNOWDONS! GIMME SNOWDONS! at Hal from 2001, before the plugs were pulled.

"I'm sorry Tom. I cannot do that. Now why don't we all calm down and think this thing out in a rational manner?"

In the cool of the morning, I found two emails from two branches expressing their regret that they could not, indeed, do that. 'The Snowdon' is not included in the sales, but I may purchase a pair from them for a mere £450 plus carriage.

Phew. That's £350 saved, then.


18 comments:

  1. Tom Stephenson11:11 pm
    I like flowers in a house, but not cut ones. I hate sitting around, watching them wilt and die. It's bad enough watching myself do that.

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    John Gray11:21 pm
    Oh bleeding hell you've gone all Ingmar Bergman

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    Tom Stephenson9:30 am
    I thought I'd gone all Oscar Wilde - just shows how people perceive each other. Anyway, I'm better now.

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    1. I meant what I said - watching flowers grown in hot-houses in Holland, shipped all the way here cut - die in a pot in the house is very depressing to me. AND the water stinks when you throw them away. The wilting and dying myself bit was supposed to be a joke... you know, 'joke'?

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    2. Stop pulling your knickers so tight!
      Of course I know you were joking
      X

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  2. The C & J's look a little Monty Don-ish. Not the ideal shoes for weeding cabbages.

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    1. I have NO intention of weeding cabbages, but I understand your concern.

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  3. Well, if there are any number of branches, how were you to know that each branch didn't have its own separate email inbox?

    Makes me all the more happier that when i went to the local store for steel-toed boots for women when i was taking the chain saw class, the person at the shoe department called another branch to see if they had what i needed in my size. They did, and held them for me so i could go try them on.

    Sadly, they weren't sale priced but as they were nearly as hard to find as hens' teeth, i opened my wallet. I'm sure i'll have those boots a long, long time.

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    1. Now you've got me worried. Chain-saw class?

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    2. Weren't you paying attention?

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    3. Obviously not. That's how accidents with chain-saws happen.

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  4. Nancy Sinatra,
    She sang it especially for you "These boots are made for walkin.."
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR90FmojtnM

    and try and enjoy it just for once

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  5. Replies
    1. Yes, and before you ask, I am living proof that it's not true.

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  6. I thought it was only women that were supposed to have this kind of irrational thinking Tom.
    All you have to do is ask yourself, "Do I need these/" not "Do I want these?" - I did a post on wants and needs not all that long ago and I can't remember what you put but I am pretty sure you answered and I am pretty sure that your answer would go absolutely against your reasoning on these boots!!!

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    1. Did you get that the right way round? Were you brought up by a Christian Brotherhood/Sisterhood?

      I long ago sorted out the difference between needs and desires, reasoning and passion. This is A: why I am so broke, and B: why so many women between the age of 50 and 60 no longer wish to acknowledge me on the street. To their ex-husbands, however, I am a good friend and a hero.

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