Thursday 2 May 2013

Dirty underwear and dirty secrets


With the money I saved when I spent £175 on a £3,500 Georgio Armani suit (made in Italy) I have so far bought a black pair of Crockett & Jones boots (Made in England) and this classic Jermyn Street, Charles Tyrwhitt white shirt (made in England). I saved even more money on the shirt, because it came from the Bicester Village outlet, and cost a mere £19.95.

What do I do with the rest of the savings? Well I might pop over to France and buy 660 pairs of canvas slip-on shoes, but that seems a little excessive. Mind you, I am 62 years old, so I stand a much better chance of getting through 660 pairs of cheap deck-shoes than I do of wearing out my three pairs of Crocketts before I die - especially when you consider the wet summers we have been experiencing for the last three years.

Then again, with a bulk order like that, I could probably go straight to the factory in Bangladesh or wherever, and get about 3000 for the same price, as well as saving money on transport to France. I had better be quick though, just in case the factory collapses and kills the workforce before they have had a chance to complete the order.

No, I don't think so. I will continue to set an example to the rest of the Europe when helping the British economy and traditional craftsmanship by paying through the nose, even though we are getting conflicting advice about saving versus spending as two alternative ways to save the economy.

My slight feeling of guilt about buying an Italian suit rather than a Saville Row one is mitigated by the fact that it was actually made in Italy rather than China, where many Italian designers now go to get their clothes made.

I have to hold my hands up and admit to having a dirty secret now. I buy cheap socks, and I don't know where they are made. Having a pair of size 12 feet which rip through socks at a rate of one wash per pair, I just cannot resist buying those packs of five socks for about £3. I buy cheap underwear too.

So when you see me sauntering down the street dressed in thousands of pounds worth of fancy clothes and boots, you don't see what they are hiding - unlike the advertising bands of boxer-shorts worn by fashion-conscious men who have them sticking up above the waists of expensive jeans so you can read them from a distance.

Discretion is the word, especially if you have dirty secrets.


13 comments:

  1. Learn to knit, dear boy. You can make beautiful, hardwearing socks from a silk and cotton mix; silk and wool for winter.

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    1. I don't think so. I now try to delegate even things I can do quite well myself, I'm that lazy.

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  2. Or a knitted suit. Knitted shoes?
    That scarf I started to knit a couple of years ago is knocking about somewhere...

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    1. I had an acquaintance (careful use of words) who knitted himself a willy-warmer once. Trouble was he wore it OUTSIDE of his trousers.

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  3. I have a pair of wellington boots I bought 20 years ago. They are still going strong. Get yourself a pair. If they last as long as mine they will still be going strong when you are my age. I doubt if I will be around to find out although you never know - I might hang on long enough for a telegram from Charles III, William or Harry or whoever it is. If I do it will be interesting to see if my wellingtons are still on the go.

    By the way, I can now be followed!

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    1. Hooray! I will now follow you - as we all must.

      I went to work on a building-site years ago, and everyone bought themselves expensive Wellingtons (Argyles, etc.) except me. I chose a pair of cheap things for £8, and on the first day, everyone ripped theirs by stepping on nails except me. Mine carried on for another ten years or so.

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  4. If a picture of the guests is taken at this wedding of the century, make sure that your underwear is not in it!

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    1. Ha ha! I'll do my best, but you never can tell with Champagne and weddings.

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  5. Dear Tom,
    by reading your former posts I got the impression that you are a VERY old man. Now I read that you are 62 and I am slightly confused. Do you really think that is old nowadays - or is it coquetry? I am honestly interested (it is not flattery). If you can wear an Armani suit you have to be slim. You have H.I., and your hair, and you must be fit as your work as a sculptor needs vigour. So: why this conviction? The new shoes will last 30 years - and so will you.

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    1. You've guessed it - I am nothing but a Coquette. I have been feeling older than usual recently, ever since the last episode of Harry Potter. Reality has been encroaching on my everyday life so I will have to find a new form of escape.

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    2. (or should that be, 'Cockette'?

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  6. Every so often I go to my wardrobe, gather up every pair of socks, pants, and vests, and chuck them in the dustbin. Then I totally re-equip myself with a dozen or so of each (usually M & S). It's a surprisingly invigorating sensation (I don't get out much).

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    1. I do the same thing with my underwear that has gone beyond being worth washing, and now there is a land-fill site in Somerset which has 'KEEP OUT. HAZARDOUS WASTE' signs all around the perimeter fence.

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