Tuesday 28 May 2013

Share my garden


Allow me to take you on a tour of the extensive and rolling grounds of the gardens on the estate of our compact but adorable city apartment.

Yes, the Night-Scented Stock seeds have been planted - about a month late due to late frosts up until now. The sticks and strings serve a dual purpose. They help keep the bloody pigeons off and they will - hopefully - keep the flowers up above cill height when they grow, so that some of the night perfume can be enjoyed by us inside, and not just the bloody pigeons outside.

I am a bit fragile this morning, because I popped into the pub for a quick drink yesterday, and was detained by one of the best Ska cover bands I have ever heard. I decided to buy a burger on the way home, but ended up having a classic, drunken rant at one of the poor blokes serving them, when he tried to add on a 'surcharge' simply because (I think) I cancelled an order for chips. I refused to pay £2.20 for a minuscule handful of extruded potato matter, and then I refused to pay the 'surcharge' for cancelling the chips, so I ended up going home hungry and angry - a bad combination, especially for Her Indoors.

I am turning into just the sort of old git that I used to laugh at when I was the same age as the bloke who didn't serve me the burger. It's all so horribly sad and predictable.

22 comments:

  1. a) that looks about the sort of garden I could manage Tom.
    b) agree about the bloody pigeons - it applies to sweet peas as well.
    c) you need to watch your blood pressure.

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    1. d) I need to get a bigger garden too - the exercise would help with the BP.

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  2. I totally loathe f'k'n pigeons especially the noise that they make.
    I agree about refusing to pay a surcharge for cancelling the chips - I mean it's not as if they are exactly a rarity a Chip shops - f'k them too !

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    1. I think it was a surcharge for no chips, but - like I say - was was rather squiffy at the time.

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  3. Replies
    1. That's what they said about Linford Christe. Actually, that is one of the nicest clay boxes I have ever seen - all hand-made. I coveted it for years, then finally managed to (legally) acquire it.

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  4. Plenty of room for a couple of fruit trees and a row of carrots. Bugger Burgers, go for Kebabs.

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    1. Doner kebabs are accurately called 'Pensioner's Legs' in the Midlands. I know the owner of this burger joint, and he used to have a winning race-horse. Prime ingredients.

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    2. So that's where Sheagar went ?

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    3. Just when everyone thought the 'Shergar' jokes were finished for a decade or two...

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  5. The poor shop boy will live. And at least he has a great arsehole story to tell his family when he gets home. Carry on old man

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    1. I wish I hadn't apologised to him for my bad language. He had a face which needed slapping.

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  6. Hungry and cranky......been there, done that. (recently)
    If it's any consolation, I would have told him to stuff his chipless burger too! I've never heard of a surcharge for not taking food, what a crock of crap.

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    1. Hungry, cranky AND semi-drunk. A recipe for trouble.

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  7. Old age doesn't come on it's own. Waiting with baited breath to see if your night scented stocks germinate, which I'm sure they will. The extruded potato matter wasn't that dear (or perhaps it was). The supermarket here had Jersey new potatoes at £2 for 4 ounces. After you scraped them, you'd hardly be able to see them let alone taste them.

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    1. I wish I had the benefit of your advice last night, Moll. I would have felt better today for it.

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  8. Very exciting - sticks and string and all!

    This message delivered to you from the 'ditch the Night-Scented Stock, grow your own potatoes and make French fries out of them' faction.


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    1. So, I now know how to get you alert, Iris - just mention bondage?

      When the ghastly mass murderers of Gloucester were being investigated for killing all those girls, we were treated to endless film of men in white suits digging up their tiny garden and carrying away small boxes of bones. A joke went around that the police had found a dead dwarf in the window box.

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    2. Just mention jiggely butts and I will pop right up!

      Your window box is 'klein aber fein' (small but precious).

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    3. 'Klein aber fein' - That is how I am going to refer to my todger from now on, talking of popping up at the mention of jiggely butts. Right, that's quiet enough for one night. I'm off for some well-earned rest.

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    4. Remind me never to mention 'Klein aber fein' ever again!

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