You may not be aware of them, but there is quite a large group of people in the UK (and possibly elsewhere too) who believe that we are all being poisoned by either the 'government' or some sort of commercial mafia, by having chemicals dropped on us by airplanes from about 20 to 30 thousand feet.
You know all those aircraft con-trails that you see criss-crossing the sky (when you can actually see the sky in this country) every time you look up? Well, they are all pack-full of mind-altering chemicals which cause all the allergies, asthma, anti-social behaviour, ADS and everything else which is going on with the physical and mental health of the nation - allegedly.
The really curious thing about these chemical attacks is that they seem most concentrated over Glastonbury, in the West of England. I wonder what the agenda is for the spooky organisation which instructs it's pilots to take off from, say, Bristol, reach a cruising height then wait a few minutes before targeting the hapless hippies in Glasto by dropping a few tons of chemicals on them?
You have to hand it to the pilots, though. It must take great skill to calculate the drift from that height so that the dispersal is so pin-point accurate that it only lands on Glastonbury. Even the military have a hard job being that accurate with smart bombs.
Well yes, you've guessed it. The Glastonbury hippies don't need any outside help to poison themselves with mind-altering chemicals - they can manage quite well on their own.
Sitting around indoors all day, every day, smoking skunk for a few years tends to make you paranoid after a while. Quite a short while, actually.
The sad thing about it is that reason goes out of the window if you use all the Chinese, imported amphetamine products and the really nasty, class 'A' variety, genetically-modified cannabis grown in low-life's bedrooms, and it becomes impossible to convince them that the beautiful sunset picking out the con-trails is no more sinister than any other Easy Jet or Ryanair scheduled flight over your head.
Paranoid people tend to lose their sense of humour, which is ironic when their mad conspiracy theories become as laughable as this.
They are here too, the chemtrails I mean. Even out at my shack 200 miles from the nearest city and ten miles from a village. I've seen them, so they must be real.
ReplyDeleteNow. Where's my crack pipe and my banjo.
Crack pipe AND banjo? Do you get wedding bookings?
DeleteChem-trails are yet another ridiculous smack-head conspiracy theory. If one explained to them that it was just water, they'd start a conspiracy theory about water. Actually, I think they already have!
ReplyDeleteSmack-heads don't look up, so they would never notice the chemtrails. Water always goes down, though...
DeleteFirst I have heard of these theories
ReplyDeletePerhaps in Wales we are immune
All those Crusties living in vans moved to Wales from the West Country quite a few years ago, but I expect they have all either died from overdoses, or become clean.
DeleteMust be the same people who so often call up the post "Fly agaric mushrooms" on my blog "Gardening in High Heels" - maybe they are looking for a substitute for planes when they want to quit Glastonbury?
ReplyDeleteThey quite Glastonbury, but - like King Arthur - their earthly bodies remained behind.
DeleteOh those nuts are every where Tom not just in Glastonbury. From what little I know the idea originated in States and then spread outwards.
ReplyDeleteEarliest mention is 1971 ref: http://ppjg.me/2011/06/06/proof-of-chemtrails-in-1971
I would look it up, but having been banned from commenting on a chemtrail-nutter's You Tube site in Swindon, I can't be bothered! Someone else who doesn't like the truth on You Tube...
DeletePISH ....... What a load of old tosh !! ......... you watch, I'll come down with some terrible dreaded lurgy after saying that !! XXXX
ReplyDeleteIf you do, I doubt if you could sue Ryanair for it.
DeleteYou don't even KNOW about paranoid nutjobs until you live around a population that's roughly 50% evangelical fundamentalist Baptist Christians.
ReplyDeleteThey make people with theories about chemical spray from airplanes seem merely cautious and prudent! :)
EEK! - at least all our nutters are not on in local government - except in Stroud.
DeleteIt may also be that they have more time to sit around and worry about such things.
ReplyDeleteThere's one Glastonbury visiting New-Age woman (or man) who is very cross at my daughter. When we were there last, she found a pretty pink crystal wedged in a corner of the tower on Glastonbury Torr and took it home...
Yes - they love stuffing things into cracks of local monuments, and Glasto town centre is full of shops where you can buy them. I found a candle shaped like an Egyptian god stuffed into a crack of one of the stones at Stanton Drew once.
Delete