Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Sunday, 7 April 2013
Everyone is out to get you
You may not be aware of them, but there is quite a large group of people in the UK (and possibly elsewhere too) who believe that we are all being poisoned by either the 'government' or some sort of commercial mafia, by having chemicals dropped on us by airplanes from about 20 to 30 thousand feet.
You know all those aircraft con-trails that you see criss-crossing the sky (when you can actually see the sky in this country) every time you look up? Well, they are all pack-full of mind-altering chemicals which cause all the allergies, asthma, anti-social behaviour, ADS and everything else which is going on with the physical and mental health of the nation - allegedly.
The really curious thing about these chemical attacks is that they seem most concentrated over Glastonbury, in the West of England. I wonder what the agenda is for the spooky organisation which instructs it's pilots to take off from, say, Bristol, reach a cruising height then wait a few minutes before targeting the hapless hippies in Glasto by dropping a few tons of chemicals on them?
You have to hand it to the pilots, though. It must take great skill to calculate the drift from that height so that the dispersal is so pin-point accurate that it only lands on Glastonbury. Even the military have a hard job being that accurate with smart bombs.
Well yes, you've guessed it. The Glastonbury hippies don't need any outside help to poison themselves with mind-altering chemicals - they can manage quite well on their own.
Sitting around indoors all day, every day, smoking skunk for a few years tends to make you paranoid after a while. Quite a short while, actually.
The sad thing about it is that reason goes out of the window if you use all the Chinese, imported amphetamine products and the really nasty, class 'A' variety, genetically-modified cannabis grown in low-life's bedrooms, and it becomes impossible to convince them that the beautiful sunset picking out the con-trails is no more sinister than any other Easy Jet or Ryanair scheduled flight over your head.
Paranoid people tend to lose their sense of humour, which is ironic when their mad conspiracy theories become as laughable as this.