Sunday 28 April 2013

By Appointment 2


When I was about 14, me and my mates would sometimes wonder if there could be anyone in the world who had never heard of The Beatles.

I think the general consensus was that there were probably a few thousand people who had not, and these were the ones who live deep in the Amazon jungle and throw spears at helicopters.  Ironically, they all have classic Beatles hair-cuts, and have probably worn their hair like that for a few thousand years before the loveable lads from Liverpool.

Then there was the old argument as to who would survive the longest - The Beatles or the Rolling Stones. I backed the wrong team, and this was possibly the first of a long - almost consecutive - series of misjudgements which have lead to the situation that I now find myself in.

A couple  of years ago, a well-connected friend of mine told me that he had recommended me to Mick Jagger for some specialist work at one of his houses, possibly the one in France.

"Mick likes a bargain," he said, "so be careful with the pricing."

Thankfully, I have not held my breath, as the phone has never rung. Maybe when he retires he will get round to it, but the man can afford much more energy than I can, so it might be too late.


13 comments:

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    1. Well, suffice to say that I am still recovering, but the real story is one I am still deciding about telling. It involves the death of an Irishman from falling off a high building and me calling an ambulance, then watching him die before the ambulance arrived, in the company of a nurse who happened to be passing at the time. Now you know why I am - uncharacteristically - keeping a bit quiet about it.

      Anyway, I didn't eat enough and I am now feeling weak. A good night's sleep will sort me out.

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    2. " oh dear" doesn't quite seem enough to say in reply to that

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    3. Well he almost fell on top of me - it was a time when smoking probably saved my life because I had gone into the pub to get some fags.

      I ought to say that this happened about 30 years ago, and the only time I have been back was last night - it must have been 30 years to the day, because his family had tied some flowers to the railing, which I discovered when I asked the girls in the bar why they were there. They were amazed to learn that it was me who called the ambulance.

      The bloke was face-down on the pavement, and neither me nor the nurse wanted to turn him over - not that it would have helped. It is amazing how much blood people have inside of them when it all comes out.

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    4. Oh, and the night it happened, I was on my way to visit H.I. where she lived with her husband then, and where I live now.

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  2. He needs the money to keep up his plasmapheresis treatments.....old vampire that he is.

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    1. He would make a wonderful shrunken head, talking of jungle-dwelling, warlike tribes.

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  3. Who'd have thought that the relatively 'nice' Beatles with their tidy haircuts and sharp suits would not only break up but that half their number die tragic deaths before they were 60. Whereas the rough looking and behaving bad boys in The Rolling Stones would still be performing live well into the 21st century having lost only one original member in death and another in retirement.

    Say no to healthy living now.



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    1. Keith Richards famously said that the only reason he is still alive is because he could afford top-quality drugs.

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  4. I spent 15 minutes in 1975 in speech class telling uninterested classmates about the deal the Beatles made with the devil to be more popular than the Stones as was proven through all the hints given on various Beatle Album covers. I remember every single "clue". Can't remember a single classmates name

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    1. So even young, fundamentalist Christians were on mind-altering drugs in 1975?!

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  5. The Beatles, The Stones, Ch de Fourchette, falling Irishmen, leaking bodies. I'm going back to bed!

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    1. I don't blame you - I went to bed immediately afterwards as well.

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