Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Friday, 18 January 2013
It's a wonderful handbag
Here in the kitchen of our compact but adorable city apartment, we have a Victorian wooden table which has a drawer at one end, one knob of which you can see hanging from the chain handle of H.I.'s latest handbag, in the photo above.
Ever since - and long before - I moved in, this knob has been insecurely stuffed into the hole of the right-hand side of the drawer, and H.I. refuses to let me fix it properly, which (if you knew her) is extremely uncharacteristic on her part - normally she badgers me for weeks to perform a simple maintenance chore like this. The knob catches everyone out who is not used to it, and many guests have been wracked with guilt at having 'broken' an item of our furniture when opening the drawer to get a spoon or whatever.
The reason why she likes it just how it is, thank you, is because it reminds her of the film 'It's a Wonderful Life', where the nule-post knob of the staircase to the old house keeps coming off in James Stewart's hands - much to his irritation at the beginning and reassurance at the end.
Well, yesterday, H.I. went into town to do a bit of business, and when she arrived at the bank and placed the handbag on the counter, she saw the knob hanging from the chain and quickly removed it before anyone else noticed (she vainly hoped), putting it in her pocket.
It occurred to us that if she had never found the knob before it fell from the chain, this would have produced a mystery which would never have been solved - after we had spent fruitless weeks searching every corner of the house for it. We would have died in ignorance as to it's disappearance. I have lost small knives in this kitchen before now, and have always thought that I must have thrown them away with the peelings, but now I have another theory.
She has absolutely no idea how it became entangled in the chain (she does not hang the bag from the drawer), but must have been walking around with it for quite a while, possibly setting a new fashion-trend in the process. Keep your eyes skinned in Vogue for handbags with knobs.
I told you that I loved eccentric people, didn't I?