Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Before and after.
The cleaning and polishing of the arse of Venus is going to be the last thing I will have completed this year, but it saved me from freezing my own off at my compact but adorable rural workshop.
Maybe next year I will make a sculpture entitled 'The Arse of Janus', with an arse both sides - seeing out the old year and seeing in the new. Now you've got me going. I am already thinking up titles which are a word-play between 'Janus' and 'Anus' - you know how my mind works (badly).
All this is - of course - subject to there actually being a new year of 2013, after December 21st. I wonder what the odds at Ladbrokes are for the end of the world occurring on that date? For it actually happening, they would make the odds as high as they like to encourage bets, as there would be no pay-out anyway. Maybe I'll check when I go into town.
Right now in the pub, everyone is behaving as though the end of the world is nigh already, but I put that down to a combination of the advent of Christmas and the appallingly bad prospects of economic recovery in 2013, not total destruction. Then again, it could be a self-fulfilling prophecy, and we might not get to enjoy a good dinner on the 25th after all.
Whenever the end of the world is nigh in the cinema, everyone rushes out into the streets and starts having wild sex with total strangers - I really don't think that would be what happens in the real event, but it is more an indicator of the fragile and facile state of mind of most Hollywood film producers, who have wild sex with strangers in their California villas as a matter of course.
What would you do if you knew the world would end in 24 hours? (Be honest).