Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Thursday, 1 November 2012
Images of the Summer - it seems like such a long time ago already, and it's only November 1st.
If I hear another media-person misquote Shakespeare in the next couple of months, I'm going to scweam and scweam until I'm thick.
As more and more of the nasty stuff hits the fan and everyone starts spending money they haven't got on December 25th, sometime - any minute now - someone is going to mention something about 'a winter of discontent'. Wasn't that Henry's speech at the battle of Agincourt?
Anyway, he says, 'Now is the winter of our discontent', meaning that they have already been through the other three seasons, and their discontent has matured to the extent that it can no longer be contained and tolerated, and immediate action is now required - NOT that we are all having a miserable bloody winter!
I flatter myself that my influence over Blogland has had such a far-reaching effect that only one person in the Western Hemisphere mentioned the other well-worn line about Autumn this year, 'Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness', and she only quoted it to wind me up. Let's see if my influence also extends to the offices of British newspapers, so that they are forced to find a fitting line from Ted Hughes or T.S.Elliot, to freshen our discontent up a bit. I don't hold out much hope, despite those offices being carpeted - wall to wall - with shameless plagiarists.
This picture (taken from about 300 feet up Salisbury Cathedral) reminds me of another pleasant Summer pastime here in Bath. There is a large patch of grass called 'Queen Square' (Charlotte was the resident queen), and every warm day, girls from all the solicitor's offices which form a fringe around it, flood out at lunchtime to eat their sandwiches.
Ever since the 1960s, many of these girls wear very short mini-skirts and - I am pleased to say - that style has made something of a come-back in the last couple of years, though during this season, thick, black tights have been worn with them which is not so satisfactory, not to say stiflingly hot for the poor fashion-victims.
Anyway, they all seem to have a bit of a rest after the sandwiches have been eaten, and they lie down on the grass to soak up a little sun. Certain unscrupulous male motorists who happen to be circumnavigating the square on their way to Bristol or wherever notice them, and some have been known to go round and round the square, creating an even worse traffic problem in town. Quite a few have also created accidents by failing to notice that the car in front has come to a stop.
If any of those solicitor's clerks happen to be reading this blog, please alert your friends and colleagues to the problem that their selfish behaviour is causing in this World Heritage city, so that - maybe - next Summer our streets will be a little safer.