Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Sunday, 14 October 2012
That speech again in full
Sarah Toa has done us all a great service by posting up the full fifteen-minute tirade of the Australian Prime Minister straight between the eyes of the miserable Leader of the Opposition, and you can watch it again here on her site. Well worth every second.
Like most ordinary people, I usually think of the perfect put-down about 15 minutes after the target has gone, so anyone who can stand up in public and deliver such a lengthy and eloquent one deserves more admiration than I could possibly muster in an entire lifetime. This is the reason why I am drawn to writing my complaints - there is always plenty of time to edit and make sure that everything is as water-tight as possible, but even then, I will suddenly remember something left unsaid, or an opportunity not taken up - just as I have pressed the 'send' button or dropped the letter into the post-box.
If I had been in Ms Gillard's position (ha ha), my bottom lip would have started quivering within about 15 seconds of starting, and by about 30 seconds, I would have been escorted - sobbing incoherently - from the chamber by a sympathetic colleague with their arm around my shoulder, and it would have been a female colleague as well.
If I had been in the Leader of the Opposition's position, I would have been sobbing incoherently within 30 seconds too, so you have to hand it to him that he just managed to retain a look of complete humiliation for the entire 15 minutes, rather than bursting into tears. Almost a true professional, but - like all bullies - all too human.
Usually, the best I can manage when struggling to find a pithy response to an eloquent insult is to stammer for a few seconds then shouting out the worst obscenity I can think of, before storming off to write a letter. This technique - rather unfairly - is called 'Irish Repartee', by some ignorant English people. If any nation has the gift for instant eloquence, it has to be the Irish.
Julia Gillard is now a hero in the UK, let alone Australia. How I wish we had politicians like her.