Sunday 22 July 2012

Unsolicited testimony


Part of the set-up for H.I.'s annual Summer Schools involves a trip to Lidl, for basics like sweet biscuits (her students consume more biscuits than you would possibly imagine) and this is the fine day we have chosen for the trip.

Anyone who lives in any part of Europe will know about Lidl, but for those of you who don't, then I think the best way of describing it would be like a food-based version of 'K-Mart', or the like.

I visit Lidl on a regular basis anyway, because it sells extremely good, 100% Arabica coffee at one third of the price of Waitrose - our corner-shop - and we drink a lot of coffee.  All the biscuits are, I suspect, supplied by big, good-quality manufacturers like Bahlsen of Hannover, but under a different label at half the retail price.

There are also bins of randomly selected items such as hardware and clothing in the centre isles, and I have an extremely hard time trying to stop myself from buying sets of spanners or underwear that I don't need, simply because they are so cheap.  I have a few friends that have never set foot in a branch of Lidl, purely for reasons of snobbery - they would rather buy the same stuff at three times the price than be seen dead in Lidl, but that's the English for you.  Conversely, I have seen expensive super-cars in Lidl car-parks.  Almost everyone likes a bargain.

I sort of know what they mean though - dysfunctional families and village idiots are usually over-represented in the average checkout queue of a Lidl store, but what the heck, the staff are all very polite and helpful as well, and what it costs in petrol to get to our nearest one is more than outweighed by the savings in other areas.

The World Heritage site of Bath has long resisted the advances of Lidl, partly for reasons of snobbery, but mainly due to pressure from outlets like Waitrose, Sainsbury and the dreaded Tesco.  Finally, they have been forced to cave in, and I think we are due to get our own branch in the near future, albeit in a far-flung outpost on a derelict construction site.  I don't care though, you have to drive to them in any case, and their mere presence should be enough to keep the other bastards on their toes when it comes to price-fixing - or 'price comparison', as Waitrose misleadingly calls it.

Having visited a Lidl in the north of Germany one day after I had done the same in England, I know that - at any given time - their stock is identical on shelves all over Europe, with the one exception that the British ones do not sell cut-price tobacco as everywhere else does.  The last time I checked how much a can of baked beans cost in Lidl, it was 8 pence.

I went to the Melksham branch only last week when it had been - and still was - pouring with rain for 3 months, and the sight of the unsold stacks of barbecue equipment (massive bags of charcoal, tongs, lighting fluid, grills, etc.) sitting there in the isle, only added to the melancholy of the situation.

The fine weather has finally arrived here now, so maybe some of that stuff is being sold again - especially on the Canary Isles, where the above photograph was taken.

19 comments:

  1. I am utterly ashamed to say, Tom, that I do all my shopping at Tesco and have never set foot in Lidl although there is one quite near to Tesco. I hope it has nothing to do with snobbery - more to do with just wanting to get the wretched shopping done. I top up on Saturdays at our little supermarket in our little town - it is important to give them some business too. I do deplore what the supermarkets are doing to the farmers over the milk prices though. Maybe this worm will turn (not on the biscuits, though. They are banned in our house.

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    1. Lidl have a policy of procuring as many fresh food items locally as possible, but I don't know if this applies to dairy products. Where is Cathedral City anyway? I can't see us allowing the collapse of British dairy herds, but - having said that - most managements are so ruthless these days, maybe they will.

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  2. I am sure there will soon be photos of the worst of the Lidl shoppers on the internet soon, much the way the unfortunate "Walmart Shopper" is captured and paraded to the world to poke fun at..

    Wishing you weeks of sunshine Tom. It looks like your elusive summer has arrived.

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    1. I don't think we could come close to Walmart, Raz!

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  3. Their nearest branch to us is a Lidl bit too small and uninteresting. E Leclerc pour moi!

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    1. And Norbert Dentresangle for all you shipping requirements?

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    2. One of his lorries fell over recently in the UK, and nearly crushed someone (it did their car).

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  4. A Lidl opened in the town where I shopped in rural France. Right opposite the Leclerc.
    I was delighted...good quality basics and some really good special offers...but it took ages before French friends would go there as they thought that the Lidl offerings could not compare with established brands.

    Then there was the snobbery about it...prevalent among both French and the Britpack....having your car in the Lidl carpark was a black mark on the drinks circuit.

    I think on the same lines as Vespasian...not bothered about the origins if the result is good.
    Which it was.

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  5. This is interesting. No backlash against Lidl as against Walmart? A significant number of people do not shop Walmart and support local or American owned stores and gas stations. This is not to say Walmart does not make a living; of course they do. But their existance has made many people rethink shopping. I quit Walmart years ago, when Walmart's pricing practices sent Rubbermaid, an old and reputable local manufacturing company, into bankruptcy.

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    1. I used to have an old and reputable servant called Rubbermaid, but - sadly - the tasks grew too onerous for her and I was forced to let her go.

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  6. Oh for a Lidl in Luanda! Shoprite is a South African chain and amongst the Constantia set where I lived in Cape Town it was considered decidely down market. Well they have been going nearly ten years in Angola and that´s where everybody goes.

    So, a Lidl and a Volvo estate to stuff the shopping will do me nicely, thanks.

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  7. I wish we had a lidl
    we have ALDI
    which is frequented with common women with fat arms

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    1. Aldi belongs to the brother of the man who owns Lidl, but I prefer the Lidl colour scheme to Aldi, plus they have a better class of fat-armed women (not, 'fat, armed women - thanks be to Allah).

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  8. I am a Waitrose kind of a gal BUT ..... Lidl have some amazing special offers sometimes. One Christmas they has lobsters and crabs ( the edible kind !) at ridiculously low prices and they were really good ( ...and I know a good lobster and crab when I taste one`) They seem to have certain things on offer and then you never see them again. I am not a snob and will frequent Lidl now and again, although they are a little too far away from us to shop there on a regular basis.

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    1. Yes - I remember that Christmas, and the lobsters. I was able to tell all my relatives that I could not go any further from a bathroom than a 30 second walk, so managed to get out of all sorts of commitments. (Only joking! The lobster was fine).

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    2. I love Lidl and think it knocks the socks off Aldi in spite of the fact that their Belgian Chocolate Cheesecake is to die for and could easily be passed off at homemade at a posh soiree. Lidl sells more of the basics that someone who cooks properly need. The only omission from its UK stores are those lovely little jars of bottled anchovies in oil that you get on the continent. As well as the coffee and biccies its Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Parmesan, Chocolate, those big buckets of greek yoghurt...I could go on and on... are second to none in quality.

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    3. I only use their Extra Virgin Olly Oil - £2 something a bottle, and the 'Gold' coffee is great - £3.45 for 500 grams. Ok, there are no pictures of happy coffee farmers on the label, but I am suspicious about those in any case, and they do sell a lot of Fair Trade stuff.

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  9. You've just reminded me that I bought some Olive Oil there once. It had a picture of happy Italian peasants on the label, which said Buy me Buy me! I did.

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