Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Thursday, 28 June 2012
And the winner is...
Arriving home last night was the brightest event in the whole of Spring for me, for a large cardboard box had arrived, containing my prize from Donna!
Actually, THREE prizes, because there was another T-shirt, PLUS a bar of her hand-made (and personalised) soap, made on her farm and sent all the way over from Chatsworth, USA - in the incredibly fast time of a few days.
Thank you SO much Donna, I will do my best to boost the footfall in your fabulous farm from this side of the Atlantic from now on. I'm sorry that the photo of me in the shirt is so bad, and that the wording is mirrored back-to-front, but - well - a heart's a heart, no matter which way round, and that's the important thing.
I try not to post pictures of myself up here too often - partly through a natural shyness and partly because I know that Grouchy disapproves, but mainly to avoid positive identification in cases of litigation. This is why - although I regret the poor quality of the T-shirt reproduction - I am quite pleased with the shadowy quality of the rest of it.
Today will be mainly preoccupied with writing and research for me because, in part, of last night's lack of sleep due to the unspeakable North Midlanders who - on the council's instructions, presumably - are working from 6 in the evening until 6 in the morning, right outside my bedroom window, and will continue for 9 months unless I stop them. I am not saying any more about that right now, mainly because I have posted a picture of myself up today. I'll start swearing again tomorrow.
I also have to brush up on the techniques involved with the restoration of Scagliola, because - despite having told my client it will be a piece of cake to restore his large and beautiful, painted Georgian frieze-panels, I have never done it before in my life.
All through my long and illustrious career, I have blagged my way into jobs for which I have no qualifications, and I see no reason to stop now. In any event, I have only ever had one complete disaster through blagging, when I told someone I knew how to weld lead. Every other foray into unknown territory has been rather successful, even though I say it myself. Right - Soap:
I will never look upon Saponification Sundays the same way, now that I am the proud recipient of this bar of Donna's which was an unexpected bonus to my prize-winning comment. And look how she has labeled it! Cro-Bar! Jealous, Cro, or flattered?