Thursday, 3 May 2012

Smiley's people are alive and well


I woke up this morning trying to think of an animal which name begins with 'U' - any suggestions?

Then I looked out of the window and saw more of the same - grey, wet and windy.  I can only console myself with the knowledge that we here in Southern England are all in the same boat - or we will be if this weather keeps up.

That's the thing about rain, it falls on everyone indiscriminately - even the King.  The only difference is that most people have to hold their own umbrellas.  I was speaking to a colleague yesterday who has only just understood the value and function of the House of Lords, despite having reached the age of 60.  I guess that his wishy-washy liberal aspirations have stopped him from admitting that there is an important function that a bunch of non-elected legislators serve, but he - like most of the chippy and resentful population represented by the Mother of all Parliaments - might have left it too late.

Nobody ever took me seriously when I said that I would rather be ruled by a benign monarchy than a bunch of 'democratically' elected, ambitious and avaricious war-mongers who are replaced every five years by more of the same, but worse.

Tony Blair created more 'New Labour' peers than any other Prime Minister during his reign of terror - I wonder why?

So my colleague - during his last moments of anxiety at confronting harsh reality - asked what should happen if the ruling monarch should suddenly lose his marbles and start ordering executions or whatever for anyone who disobeyed him, and I asked if he had ever seen the film, 'The Madness of King George'.  If the worst came to the worst, I said, we would just kill the offending king if he refused to behave himself.

That sparked off a fresh anxiety, and he said  "I don't want to be ruled by a bunch of murderers".


"Too late,"  I said,  "You already are."


I don't know if anyone outside of G.B. has been following the bizarre case of the MI6 officer found dead, zipped up in a pad-locked hold-all and plonked in a bath-tub two years ago, but bizarre it is.

MI6 have been portraying the officer as a sado-masochistic fetishist and they were the first on the scene all that time ago, taking the opportunity to access all his data on various memory-sticks, lap-tops and paper files before Scotland Yard could get their sweaty hands on it.

During investigations, Scotland Yard hired a skilled escape artist to try to zip himself into a similar hold-all and padlock it shut from the inside.  He gave up after 96 unsuccessful attempts.

For lack of evidence, the hearing were unable to give a verdict of 'unlawful death', but said that they were sure that the death was, indeed, unlawful.

MI6 is most definitely not a democratic organisation but they are answerable to an organisation that is - The Home Office and Parliament.  What were the Civil Service called before Democracy?  Courtiers.




Quiz:  What is this object lying in the gutter outside a hotel?

23 comments:

  1. The MI6 case .... all very hush, hush.
    An animal begining with U ..... Uakari - a South American monkey OR Urchin.
    The object lying in the gutter outside an hotel could be the wheel from a toy car.
    If it's right, do I win a prize ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You get one point for the Uakari - once I have verified that such an animal exists.

      You are wrong about the toy car, but close.

      Delete
    2. The wheel from a pull along suitcase ?

      Delete
    3. Good. That's two points you now have, and what do points mean?

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. That was very good, but - sadly- I cannot give you any points as it breaks the rules (terms and conditions apply).

      Delete
  3. Unrepentant Greenie
    Your coat button.
    And yes, I heard the story on the radio on the way back from the beach. A ripping yarn, if ever I've heard one. Planting some women's underwear and odd dvd's. Masterstroke.
    Turning up the heaters to speed up decomposition ... I'll have to remember that trick too.

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    Replies
    1. It's an old trick - I've used it many times myself when buying cheap meat to cook the same night.

      Delete
  4. Umbrella Bird? Locking petrol cap from a Lada? I'm plumping for the wierdo SM answer; much more fitting for MI5.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You lose a point for dropping one digit off MI6 - Keep up, for fuck's sake.

      Delete
    2. I had deducted one point for transparency!

      Delete
  5. Umbrella fish; Uraster (starfish).

    Wonder why they wanted to snuff that agent. We shall most likely never know.

    On this side of the Pond, we have the revolving doors of government timed so that every year we have local elections, every other still local but a bit more encompassing (staggered terms, don't you know), and then the presidential elections every leap year.

    The Senate here used to be chosen by Congress, but they decided about 1917 to let the populace decide. Can't say for sure if that was a good or bad thing. If you haven't good candidates whether they be appointed or voted, it's still a matter of choosing between not good and not good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If 'choice' comes into it. You also lose a point for fibbing.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Too big to fit into our compact but adorable city apartment - or the by-pass.

      Delete
  7. The Umm fish. No, I don't believe it either...

    Incredible that the notion of suicide was even put forward! Speaks volumes that does. The whole thing was horrific, especially for the poor guys family.

    Te object is the offside rear wheel from Noddy's car.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are fined £10,000 and disqualified for three matches for bad taste on both counts. Noddy. Tssk.

      Delete
  8. I think Jacqueline@home is right. Since you found the object outside a hotel, it must be the wheel of a suitcase. Either that or a very old, fossilized mini-donut, which this hotel serves for breakfast. Let's hope not.

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    Replies
    1. You get no points at all, and should think yourself lucky that you are not banned for plagiarism. Your doughnut simile saved you.

      Delete
  9. I became so obsessed with the rather scruffy trainer toe in the foreground (surely not yours Tom after that picture of your sartorial elegance the other week (Tweed)) that I couldn't decide what the marked object was - 10p piece, button, extra strong mint???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You now start the round of competitions in the unfortunate position of being minus two points, Weaver. The thingy has already been identified, and the foot is mine. Also, I am deducting another 5 possible points for describing my stone-dust covered leather hiking boots as 'trainers'. That was unforgivable.

      Delete